610: Channel the Frustration into Constructive Fuel (15 of 30)

A moment of seeing myself push down reactions that seem too much to bear, and the realization that this doesn't work. What to do with these internal conflicts? Suppress, ignore, run from? Or face, understand, direct and Change? We can't keep hiding from ourselves... and there something more constructive we can do with all these frustrations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress reaction I think are too much to deal with

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stuff down emotions I don't know how to process

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become stiffened and hardened by stuffing down emotions I think I can't or don't want to deal with or process

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe it's easier to 'forget about it' then deal with emotions towards things in my life that are challenging

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to default to the solution of running away, hiding from, and ignoring problems I experience within myself because I think and believe I am not capable of sorting out the emotional reactions I have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resent a world that never taught me how to cope with my inner experience

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself to a hard world wherein I feel sorry for myself for the challenges I face, not realizing how much harder it could get, and that I am actually in an ideal situation to make something better of this world purely by the position I am in this world

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to empower myself within the position I am in this world, where I see I am one of the few lucky ones and many don't have the tools, awareness, understanding, and MONEY to get by in this world and that rather than feeling sorry for myself, I can pick myself up by my bootstraps and doing everything in my power to live self-empowered which leads to empowering others which leads to empowering the world

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the effect 1 person in this world has

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the effect a group of individuals in this world has

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to channel all my frustrations, emotions, and feelings, irritations, annoyances, blames and judgments into something constructive as doing everything I can daily to change me and to share how change is possible in this world because let's face it, this world is unacceptable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wallow in self-defeat instead of redefining it into a living purpose of bringing solutions to myself, my life and to allow that to grow and expand

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hesitate within myself even for a moment in allowing myself to sink into an emotional state that becomes a complacent state of mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not challenge myself in these emotional states as pushing the question of 'why' and 'where is it coming from' and 'how can I change this in this moment' as realizing this is what it's going to take... to be persistent as fuck and to never give up and to not allow myself to be bullied by the emotions of my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be seduced by emotions as energy and to justify my participation because I do get something from it - an energetic experience that validates a self-belief, self-interest, self-definition, that somehow makes me more or better or right, and puts me against everything else as the cause of my experience... it gives me the abdication of self-responsibility and within this, apparent freedom

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek out an illusory freedom of abdicating responsibility to who I am in each moment, to what I experience in relation to everything of this world instead of realizing the decision I am making to enslave myself... utilizing free will to not act and change instead of doing what is best for all/me

When and as I see myself wavering for even a moment in some emotional experience that distracts me from what's physical here and what's physically needed in this world, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand the emotions of the mind can be redefined and redirected to become constructive fuel to change myself and so this world

When and as I see myself feeling sorry for myself in this world, as if I have it so bad, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand I am one of the lucky ones and so I commit myself to take advantage of the position I am in, and take the responsibility I have to be a voice for the voiceless and for the cry for change in this world

When and as I see myself fearing to face the internal challenges as my emotional reactions to experiences in my life, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand the resistance to myself is indicating exactly whereIi must go and so I commit myself to push myself to go there within myself, to dive in the deep end, understand what is influencing me and why and to redefine it into living principles that are best for all

I commit myself to daily self forgiveness

I commit myself to daily writing

I commit myself to daily breathing

I commit myself to daily pushing myself beyond my own self-imposed limitations

I commit myself to challenge myself

I commit myself to embrace this world

I commi myself to change this world

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