Kristina's Journey to Life

Yesterday I was supported to see this point within myself that has always been here, yet never seen very clearly. And that is the point - seeing clearly, and within that trusting myself to stand as that what I see - and even more within that, to stand self directive in what I see.  What I have a tendency of doing is not trust myself, trusting another more than me and then asking permission if what I see/say/do is "ok". Within this, submitting myself to another, separating myself and actually limiting myself in saying "I cannot see this for myself, I do not trust myself enough, I am not good enough to see this, to direct this, to make a decision... will you do this for me?" And so within this, not pushing myself to stand up within myself, expecting others to do this for me. Which is actually manipulative as I am then accepting this within myself and changing myself in ways that another will feel they 'should' do this for me. Fortunately I have those ...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from males within my reality I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define males as only points of potential relationship then keep myself busy in my mind with projections of what ifs and play outs instead of being here equal with the other being I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define males within my mind as being separate form me that I have to win I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience fear within myself when around males I define as potential partners I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to change who I am when a male walks into my reality I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself separate from males through defining them as a point in which I have to earn or impress or catch – so that I have this energy desire fulfillment of a relationship with another I forgive myself for accepting and allowing mys...