Kristina's Journey to Life

This is a continuation of: Day 122 - Walking through a Moment of Irritation part 1 Day 123 - Memories Fueling Reactions part 2 Day 124 - Part 3: A Moment filled with Many Dimensions Day 125 - Part 4: Forgiving the Voices in my Head Day 126 - Part 5: Correcting the Voices in my Head Here I will now walk the self forgiveness and self corrective statements for the imaginations dimension identified in this moment I had as a reaction towards A. Imagination Me telling her that her kids are not her slave and that I think that’s the only reason she had kids So at this point, A and B had already left, and I was back at home, reacting within my mind and a picture popped up in my head. The image was of me talking to A, telling her that I am not her slave, and that is the reason I think she had children. Within this image of me standing in front of her saying this - I was angry and wanting to get my point across to her, and within this I can recall an experience of being desperate ...

I could not sleep the other night– and I kept having thoughts and memories coming up – it usually is not that hard for me to get to sleep – yet this night it was difficult. I kept thinking about another – more specifically, I kept WANTING to go into my thoughts and create images that made me feel good, of being with this person and talking to them, and creating some illusionary scenario that does not exist but made me feel oh so good. So – seeing this point of ‘wanting to be in my thoughts’ because I believe there I can create something I will enjoy - yet, what am I saying about my reality then? And it’s in separation, AND self interest, because it’s a reality for only me and what I want and does not take into consideration THIS WHOLE WORLD - the REAL world - this Physical Reality. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts within the self interest of feeling good I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into m...

This is a continuation of my previous Journey to Life Blog, read for context. I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to exist within back chat about C and the dog and his current living condition – instead of applying solution that are best for him and all as well I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that this condition of blaming within the mind about a situation, instead of LIVING solutions that are best for all in the situation – is the current accepted nature of Humanity – where we blame and project ourselves onto everything and all things separate from us without taken any self responsibility and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perpetuate the current condition of the world wherein I exist within the Mind about a problem and not live a solution to stop the dishonesty, as I blame and project myself onto others, instead of BEING THE CHANGE I WISH TO SEE IN THIS WORLD. I forgive myse...

Seems I did not save the last words I wrote – which were about a comment on youtbe that I reacted to. This person was speaking about how she was experiencing herself within addiction, and then suggesting ways she will support herself within this. I reacted to her words, I that I did not trust her. I thought she was actually playing with me – making fun of me and did not actually mean what she was saying. So taking this back to myself – I can see I don’t trust myself. Because what I projected onto her was that, secretly she had other intentions. She was sneaking something within her self that she was not showing me and just presenting something else to me, in a deicitful way. I can see how throughout my whole life, I have done this. I have always existed within this secret reality of my mind where my experience ‘in here’/within myself has been totally different from what I present to the rest of the world. – And the fear of being exposed as such has been quite an influence in my l...