Kristina's Journey to Life

So I got my first blog done yesterday - the hardest step... starting. And then I committed to 30 days of blogging, lol. It seems to be perfect timing. I have the time available, and it's always 'here' in terms of being aware that it's something I can do for myself - daily. There are points of fear , of realizing I will face similar points of judgments , towards myself and projected unto others towards me. Then there's the matter of what to write about... I've mostly taken the approach to just share what is here, since part of me fears being "exposed" (can read my very first Journey to Life blog on that point), I should rather face and walk through the fear and expose myself.. giving direction to myself rather than allowing that point to fester, and grow until it influence me to remain silent. However, since my blog yesterday, the point that keeps coming up is 'what to write about'. Like wanting a topic already secured and in pla...

Tonight I am looking at this point that I saw within me in the last couple days. I have been busy, up to this point, in my Journey to Life Blogs walking through specific moments, wherein each moment took many days to go through, and so every night that I would sit myself down to write a blog, I essentially would have 'direction' as to what I should write my blog about. So there was no point of "what should I write about?" because I had already laid it out for myself in the previous days/blogs. So while I got closer to walking through all the points, I saw that I would no longer have this point of direction given to myself, already here waiting for me, I would have to be self-directive in my writing in deciding what I am going to support myself with seeing /writing/forgiving/etc. This brought up some slight fear and resistance wherein I went into this point of, "oh no - now what will I write about" and "I don't have anything to write about" ...

I recently gathered all my blogs I have published since I started the writing/blogging process . What is fascinating is certain patterns seem to constantly arise within myself - and I was time-looping a point within myself pretty consistently. The point, fascinatingly enough, was about the writing/blogging process itself. Where I was constantly judging myself for not writing and exposing this through writing, then writing for a bit, before I fell again. I would then time-loop again with starting to write, exposing this point of not consistently writing, and then fall again. What I realized within this and is funny now to see - how simple to solution was/is. I wanted and expected of myself to write more within blogs. And in my day to day living. And I was not satisfied with myself when I would not be consistent with it and thus judge myself for not pushing myself, and allow myself to fall within this. I experienced resistance to it - and allowed it - and then allowed myself to j...