Kristina's Journey to Life

Continuing on with the recent points opened in the previous blogs , here I'm going to have a look at a memory I could see was in relation to this avoidance of creating/sustaining relationships with people. I was working as a server at the time, at a place I had been for quite a while; more than a few years at least. It was during the summer and I was on the patio setting up tables and getting it all ready for the lunch shift. At that time, I had been looking at apartments on the West Coast; just getting a general idea of what the cost of living was out there and seeing if and how I could afford to do that. So moving was very much on my mind those days. I'm not sure what specifically triggered the thought pattern I started to participate that morning while opening up the patio for the restaurant that I worked for, but I started to go into justifications as to why I didn't want to or that I saw it wasn't necessary for me to build any lasting or significant relation...

I have been recently re-directing myself towards a new business venture for myself, and the one thing I see most necessary for me to be successful in the business is to form connections and relationships with people. Within seeing this as a practical part of the business, there is a resistance to forming connections/ relationships with people. And from there, seeing just how much I avoid building relationships with people; it's as if I have thrown in the towel in getting to know and sustaining relationships with people. Like my preference has become to be alone , or work with those i am most comfortable with. yet I realize that if I do not move past this, and get over the fear, which is in essence what this resistance is, I will not be successful in anything I do because human relationships and interactions is the basis of our world system/reality. So self forgiveness here for the general point I see I am facing to open it up more. I forgive myself that I have accepted and...