Kristina's Journey to Life

Relationships, as they currently exists - fueled by the Mind - are a trap that keep people stuck in a bubble of bliss without any awareness of reality. I know it's easy to 'fall' into this experience of joy where we think the whole world is now complete as 'we' have found something 'worth living for' - yet within this we do not have a clue - not an ounce - of what we are actually doing. While we are stuck in the love illusion - this world continues on without any consideration from humanity - no one sees the starving child, no one sees the raped women, no one cares about the homeless man, no one gives a shit about the brutality of this world - because we are all too busy being selfish in our desires for "love". Love does not exist - we prove it everyday by our inability to change a system that cause so much suffering. Relationships - especially the 'new ones' - are quite specific in keeping one busy in their minds about ' what if...

I can see various aspects of myself that exist within/as desire. Mainly to/towards relationships and even more specifically – in relation to a past relationship wherein I still experience memories and the desire to be with him – speak to him, see him. It comes up as a ‘missing’ – like I miss this person and I desire him back in my life. Within this – I end up experience myself within a state of depression–wherein I feel like I missed out – or even a point of regret – where I see what my participation was within our relationship – how I was not effective in walking with him and see how I could have done things differently. So this desire is to ‘do it over’ – to try again – to show that I have changed and that I am not the same person. Yet – I realize also how this desire is based on a self definition – how I perceived/believed myself to be – the person that I was while I was with him – I felt good and proud and happy – defining myself as special for having him in my life – and so this d...