Kristina's Journey to Life

Waiting. I have been waiting for perfect conditions for as long as I can remember in order for me to fully live, or express, or move, or change . Though this waiting has always been some perfect condition outside of myself. Which is actually quite the perfect ‘condition’ in the context of what the mind represents. A dis-empowered self that waits for something or someone outside of oneself before one will move, change, take responsibility for themselves and their life . This is the perfect condition for the mind because in that, one will always be waiting and thus never fully living, as it’s full potential and expression of what is possible as life, and rather give all power and control to the mind. It’s the condition of the mind, as self has defined itself, basing its decisions and direction on the experiences as emotions and feelings that come up, creating complete chaos in one's life, as represented by the world as a whole. I have conditioned myself to wait, justified...

A point of using my external reality and those within it as the motivation to do something, to move myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use relationships with others as motivation for self movement I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my external world/reality as motivation for self movement I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sit and wait for ‘something to happen’ in my external reality before I make the decision to move myself, to actually live I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if nothing is happening in my external reality, such as an interaction with another, then I do not require to move myself and then I end up just sitting around waiting for something to move me I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from self movement I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my own sel...