Kristina's Journey to Life

Yesterday I noticed some emotion come up in relation to the last few blogs - this relationship towards my body, and the points I've been sharing on it - feeling a bit like I've shared 'too much' and in a way blame towards myself for 'making it a big deal'. It's like when you put the focus on it the way I have in dedicating the past few blogs to it, you are shedding a lot of light on something you've for awhile kept in the dark and in doing so, one could sabotage oneself to keep it in the dark by thinking "you shouldn't share that" and "you're making it a bigger problem than it is." It's like the focus of my attention doesn't want to be the actual focus because in that focus, all is seen, or at least that's the process. To see it all because in that seeing, that awareness , one can understand it and ultimately change it. And so the reaction of "it's too much attention on this one, little point" is...

Tonight I reacted to seeing another had seen some of my videos on youtube . Here self forgiveness for the experience. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to the idea of another seeing my videos I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react within myself as fear to the idea of another seeing my videos, yet present an image of myself as calm and not worrying about it I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear another was seeing my videos and judging me I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself within my videos and project them unto another I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear another seeing my videos and laughing at me I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine and picture in my mind another watching my vids at a friends house and them laughing at me I delete this image within my mind I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being laugh...