Kristina's Journey to Life

I listened to an old recording from Eqafe , first published in 2008, and had a moment of a breakdown/breakthrough. I was listening to a being share about how standing in the interdimensional/heaven existence, and there being nothing and no one there... only self. You, alone with you. At this moment I began to cry because I realized the amount of separation I have allowed myself to participate with - all the anger and resentments and blame and criticism I've been projecting outward and onto others for years.... in this moment I realized it was me, equal and one. There is, in fact, no separation, we are not separate... we are whole. We are Equal. We are One. And in the realization of this, I broke down because I've seen the extent of my hate and anger towards all as myself. How much I pushed others as myself away, how I much I saw others as myself different or in eyes of judgments. How much I neglected to see the equality in all of us. This being sharing their experience o...

Have you ever had that experience where you wanted to be upset with someone? Where you wanted to actually fight with them? I can see for myself in moments of conflict with another, often times I can see it’s a conflict I am perpetuating. Meaning – I am the one who is feeding the conflict within me with my thoughts, I am not letting it go, I am not being forgiving, I am standing my ground in a self-righteousness of blame and revenge. Which is strange, isn’t it? Why would we want to be in conflict with another? Do we like to fight? Do we like to create chaos ? I do see the relationship between who I am within conflict with others, and the existential reality of war. Why do wars exist? Because I can see within my own nature, war exists, and as within so without – equal and one. So I realize that it is my responsibility, as an individual within the whole, that I must stop the inner wars to begin stopping the outer war. I mean we must all do that, which is how wars will cease to ...

Keeping on with the topic I have been writing about in the last few blogs, today I want to discuss the point of 'living with others' and the responsibility we have within that. Obviously creating and inflicting war and destruction on others is not a responsible way of living with others; the carelessness, the lack of concern or even consideration we have in such a move screams with the inhumanity we've allowed on this planet. So what is going on? Why does it seem as there is no real care for life on this planet? When there is nothing but a vast diversity of life here, we seem to not take notice or care of that. So what is it that we care about? Ourselves? Our individuality? Our power? Our position? Our Life - is that more important than another? I mean are these things even real? And how does such a stance or position effect others around us; those we must LIVE with? We all must co-exist on a daily basis, our comings and goings very much depend on others doing thei...

Yesterday I woke up to a message saying that one had made a comment about me that did not portray me in the best of way. I reacted. In writing out the point for myself to see what I was reacting about specifically - here is the self forgiveness that came from it: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react negatively when X said to me that Y mentioned to them that I never clean up after myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into defense mode when finding out that Y mentioned to X that I never clean the bathroom, because in this instance I didn't, I had forgot to before leaving to work, and so upset with myself for not slowing down and ensuring I was taking responsibility for myself in every area of the house, which includes to clean up after myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within the back chat of, what’s Y's problem, why do they do that, and then become so angry and frustrated ...

Day 3 What I can see as an overall experience within myself while walking throughout my day and even throughout my whole life. Is this point of superiority. Wherein I will 'look down' on others that do not agree with me - or that I do not agree with or do not have the same ways of seeing things as I do - there is this sense of 'I know more then them - they haven't yet realized - they will see' sense to me. This is obvious separation of myself as ALL - as I see myself as more then through the Mind's perspective of who I am in relation to others - believing myself to know more - to see more clearly. Yet - all I am actually seeing is through my Mind's Eye of what is 'right' and what is 'wrong'. So within this - existing in competition with every other human being that I define as 'wrong' and always placing myself in a position of 'winning' as being right. So let's look again at why War exists in this World - because we a...