Kristina's Journey to Life

My partner and I have been creating a habit of working together with Living Words. We created a word web at the beginning of our agreement/relationship as the words we wanted to live and express in the agreement/relationship. So the word Agreement is in the center of our web and from there all the various words and expression we want to be a part of our relationship branch from it. Every few days, or weeks, or months we pick a word from the web - usual just at random, one of us running our finger across the page of words until the other one says stop and wherever that finger lands is our word to work with. We discuss the word as what initially comes up within us in relation to the word - how we see it, how we define it, how we relate to it... then we walk with the word for a few days in ourselves and our day to day living. We then come back together after those few days to discuss our findings, specifying within that how we see we are able to make the word Livable in a Practical W...

I listened to an Eqafe Recording, Death Research - Time is the Present we Gift Ourselves, and in this 3-part recording, one of the first points mentioned really struck home to me. It was a point of this woman, who had died from Cancer, seeing how she spent what amounted to about 3 years of her life thinking and worrying about other people and what other people think. I could definitely relate to seeing how often my mind gives attention to other people - whether it's good or bad - it seems it's often thoughts about others, way more than about myself. And that was the point she wanted to share and for us to understand - how much time we miss getting to know ourselves, understanding ourselves, because we are too pre-occupied with others. This also brought up the point of how much time and attention I see people giving to those they don't like, like politicians, celebrities, and public figures. I mean Donald Trump is such a prime example. As much as people seem to despi...

Hi all, Today I had an interesting experience specifically because I seemed to face this resistance to my day. And I say that is interesting because yesterday the question was posed in a discussion about what is our purpose and reason for waking up in the morning. So I found it just fascinating that I would experience a day where I could have easily stayed in bed, stuck in an energy , feeling lethargic and apathetic, not really feeling like doing anything. Quite low and slow. without any reason for waking up. So when I noticed this was my experience, despite having things I could do and sort of wanted to do, I resisted the heck out of it, so I asked myself, "what is my purpose today?" "Why did I get out of bed today?" And the question would go for every day... why do I get up in the mornings? What is my motivation? What is my reason for living? Sounds like a silly question to ask ourselves, but for me in my life, I see it as an absolute necessary question ...

I started a new job just a couple of months ago, which changed up my home-life schedule quite a bit. I am no longer working evenings, or weekends, and work more hours in a day. I am very pleased about the change, but with that, I had to change myself. I have been a long- time fan of to-do lists and while for the past couple of years of working evenings, I had long days on my hands and I could regularly get to a lot of things in one day. That has since changed, yet I still tried to do everything in one day. It's simply impossible. And while I understand prioritizing, and doing what is practically possible, I for a bit was refusing to let go of this 'need to do it all'. Though what I create from this is a constant failure experience, because I can't practically get to everything... something gets left uncrossed on my to-do list, and usually, it's the same thing every day. Then when the days off come around, I just want to 'run free' and do other th...

I just listened to an Eqafe recording titled, "Forgiveness and Forgetting" . It explains the point of how just because you forgive something, doesn't mean it forever deletes it from you or your mind. There still exists a remembrance - a recalling of what has happened and who you were. I was reminded of a time in my life where I realized I required to forgive myself for something I had done. I was ashamed and felt guilty , and regretting how I made the decision to do what I did. And for weeks, the same experience was coming up, I kept going back to the moment where I made this decision, what came from my decision, how it changed my life, and I was gripped by this emotion of regret and sadness. And I realized with this continuing to come up I had to forgive myself, to allow myself to let go of what I was holding onto. I realized I couldn't change what was done - what I had done. It was done and that was that. There was no going back. But I still remained, and ...

Imagine someone standing in front of you. They are asking for help. They want you to do something for them, to help get them free.  On their right wrist, there is a handcuff, bound tightly around it. Extended from the handcuff is the metal chain making its way to their right, to the matching handcuff, wrapped around a metal pole. It is forever secure; unbreakable. There is no freeing them without the key.  The person looks at you, pleading with you, begging you to help them. To save them. To do something to free them. Because to them, you are their saving grace. Without you, they will never be free.  As you look into their eyes you see the deep, hidden pain and helplessness, the belief they are forever locked up. You see their urge to break free, to stand as a life fulfilled, they see the hope, their only chance, within you...  You start to glance down toward their left hand. Slowing taking notice of their free shoulder, their free arm, their free wris...

Listening to the latest reptilian recording on Eqafe, "Where are you?"  the question was asked, 'where am I?' The response I had was in the context of myself, like inside myself, my body, my mind. In the interview, it was mentioned that if the response was in the context of where you are physically, like your environment, it's a pretty cool reference for yourself in terms of your awareness being focused in the physical reality. That was not my response, so there was a slight reaction to that. Though briefly before that, there was hope and anticipation that they would mention something about how I responded and that it would be "better than the first response." So this is a point I've noticed some up a few times in the past week. I've started two new jobs, and I noticed there were comparisons I was making between myself and those training me - both seeing myself as better at the job than my trainers, as well as management noticing this too ...

I just finished listening to an EQAFE Recording, 2013 - The Future Of Consciousness - Overreacting - There's More than Meets the Eye - part 28 , and it was quite a timely recording as I could relate so much to what was being discussed. The recording was talking about how when we're having reactions towards someone or something in our external environment, there is usually something behind or within the reaction; that it's not actually about what we are having a reaction about, but that there's a deeper issue not being addressed. Though sometimes it can be specifically about what you are reacting towards, often times there is some bigger issue buried deep within ourselves that we are not willing to face. I could relate to it in that this past week I have been busy looking for a job, without a lot of feedback coming my way. Hardly any responses, and in this, felt worried and concerned about not being able to find a job before 'it's too late' or rather, ...

The following are self-corrective statements made in relation to the two previous blogs  I've written in relation to a resistance, that revealed a fear, which implied a separation from life and living. The corrective statements are a script one write for oneself, deciding who one will be in specific moments of one's life, within oneself, and making that decision within self-awareness and self-honesty. In the previous blog I did mention considerations I would share in this blog in relation to a vlog from Desteni about Death. I will share that in the next blog. So - onto the Correction and Change! When and as I see myself within an experience of resistance, specifically in relation to listening to the Death Research recordings on Eqafe, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that the resistance experience to not listen is a form of an energetic experience triggered through my participation in thoughts and back chats and so I commit myself to not simply acce...

Following yesterday's blog with some self-forgiveness: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist the fear of death existing within and as me, as revealed through my resistance towards listening to the death research series on eqafe I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that because I am writing about facing my fear of death, and walking a process to embrace death as a reality of this world, that that means I am going to die and to within this, fear it – fear I am creating my own death through writing about it I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not yet realize that to fear Death is to be of the Mind , as the Mind is a program that has a beginning and an end when real Life and Living is simply HERE, it is constant and stable, has always been here and so to fear death is to be of the Mind and to be life is to simply LIVE and so I forgive myself that I have not taken responsibility for ...