Kristina's Journey to Life

May 23, 2020 A point that opened up recently in relation to being/becoming pregnant and having a child (if you haven't heard my story about being pregnant/becoming pregnant - see here , or here , or here ) is the fact that I have not yet redefined   the word Mother for myself yet. I did not actually ever consider this, which is kind of weird to me. Here I am trying to conceive a child and wanting to enter into this phase of my life as being a mother and I have not considered who I am in relation to this word now and who I want to be as a living expression of mother. So I see this is a point I can open up and start to investigate and discover for myself how I have been living this word and seeing if it is in fact aligned to principles I want to live/apply in my life. Obviously the first point that comes up when I look at the word is interesting this word that I have been connecting to the word mother as of recently (again – didn’t put two and two together to realize this is th...

Yesterday while I just got out of the shower and was getting ready for work. My mom ran in to use the bathroom. I am busy brushing my teeth and about to ask her a question when she says, ‘god you smell so gross. It smells like an old man in here – it’s so disgusting, it’s because you don’t use anything’ I reacted to this by turning around and walking away and saying, ‘shut up, don’t talk to me’. I was about to go up to my room – but realized I was still brushing my teeth so when into the kitchen to use the sink. I was reacted heavily to this – and within myself I was saying, “how dare she. I don’t use any products because I use to place so much value on them – and now I am showing myself that I can live without them’ I went into anger and blame ‘for she’s the one that values the beauty system including products used to change the way that we smell into “acceptable” ways. She attempted to apologize – but I didn’t want to hear it. I was so angry at her for being a bitch. That’s w...