Kristina's Journey to Life

Continuing from the previous blog ... I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a point of waiting, as waiting for some specific, perfect condition to provide me with the opportunity to move myself and utilize my potential, realizing that no condition is ever perfect, and that I must create the conditions myself, in how I condition myself in my day to day living actions as either being self-supportive or self-destructive I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a point of waiting… as waiting for some future moment or event to signify my ‘okay’ to move myself and utilize my utmost potential, instead of realizing that this is simply existing within a future projection, an image within my mind of how things ‘may be’ and is essentially just existing within hope… hope for some future event to magically manifest wherein I THEN can live my utmost potential.. Here I realize it’s as if I’m in a resistance to living my pote

Recently there is this point of like waiting…. Like I’m waiting for this moment in time to arrive so I can start actually living, which in this case me moving to Canada. It’s like I’m waiting for that time to arrive, or waiting for the moment when I can start packing, like ‘not yet’ – it’s not yet necessary for me to start. I had planned things well, and so far, things have gotten done in a timely manner because I am not feeling rushed or overwhelmed. I have directed what I need to direct and so I am walking with enough time and space, so why am I so unsatisfied? There is this point of me not living my potential. Not using the time I have effectively. Because I do have time for more projects, to be more active in my life, to be more engaged, to write my blogs and create vlogs and to do my own research and investigations and development… yet I’m not utilizing it; I'm not yet developing it to my full potential . I’m waiting. What am I waiting for? I’m waiting for the perfe