Kristina's Journey to Life

I have been feeling the call to write here again.  I started this Journey to Life 12 years ago!? Something like that... The original purpose was to write to an equivalent of 7 years to birth myself as Life - taking daily account and responsibility for who I am in all I do and in all relationships that exist from/as me.  And I did that (to a degree) - I walked consistently to a point where I "returned to my innocence" and was born anew.  My life radically changed in a moment, which, looking back now, I can see was an accumulation of many, many, many moments and many, many, many actions and many, many, many decisions made over and over again to become the best version of myself.  And I got to that point. Or at least - I got to a point where I was so liberated within an innocence and pure love that it felt like I had reached the ultimate freedom.  Since then, which was almost 5 years ago now, I've been exploring myself and life in ways I wouldn't have allowed mysel...

 January 16, 2021 As a first-time pregnant woman I've heard about the infamous unsolicited comments and advice that come from others - and I've even read ways in which to not react to them. I just got my first such comment that kind of rattled me lol I shared a picture of my 6 month-pregnancy belly and someone mentioned it seemed big for "only six months" and asked if I was sure it wasn't twins.  I definitely had a reaction to these words, even though I KNOW it is a big belly for 6 months lol I have had the same sentiment. I have compared my belly to other women I've seen and mine definitely seems to be on the bigger end. But what can I do? I mean I am 6 months, there is 1 baby and my bump is what it looks like.  So why judge or define it as "too big" or "too small" or even "just right"?  I reacted to this person's word and thought, "you're not supposed to say that to a pregnant woman!" But the truth is, I had al...

January 15, 2021 - For those that don't know, I'm pregnant! As I write I am just about 27 weeks pregnant and just about to enter into the third trimester. I have been sharing weekly pregnancy updates since probably week 7 - with all the various changes one goes through, mentally/emotionally and physically. Today I just recorded my week 24-26 update and noticed a clear difference in my experience.  First of all it took 3 attempts to get the recording... I tried out some new lighting in my partner's studio that I didn't like so I decided to record again in my normal spot in the house. We got a new mic situation but I forgot to turn it on so there was no audio on the 15 minute recording. Finally, I got the third recording done, in the spot I wanted to record in, with the new audio working and as I uploaded the video to my computer to start the editing process... I hated what I saw. A dimly lit, "fat and ugly" me.  I am not as eager to share this recording. I will...