Day 724: For Me as Life.
I started this Journey to Life 12 years ago!? Something like that...
The original purpose was to write to an equivalent of 7 years to birth myself as Life - taking daily account and responsibility for who I am in all I do and in all relationships that exist from/as me.
And I did that (to a degree) - I walked consistently to a point where I "returned to my innocence" and was born anew.
My life radically changed in a moment, which, looking back now, I can see was an accumulation of many, many, many moments and many, many, many actions and many, many, many decisions made over and over again to become the best version of myself.
And I got to that point. Or at least - I got to a point where I was so liberated within an innocence and pure love that it felt like I had reached the ultimate freedom.
Since then, which was almost 5 years ago now, I've been exploring myself and life in ways I wouldn't have allowed myself previously. I've been more open, more curious, more explorative, but also more protective, more willing to say no, clearer on who I am and what I want.
And here I am again, reflecting on the past 5 years compared to the previous 10 years and I can see a distinct difference in myself.
When I was consistently blogging and vlogging, my communication was crisp and clear and I had a lot to say. I've noticed over time that I have much less to say and fewer ways to say it.
I don't see this as a problem per se, I do see that sometimes more words and more information are simply irrelevant. What's real is what is real, and I don't have to explain that all the time.
However, I am keen and curious to see how, by applying blogging and vlogging consistently again, how would the experience of myself change?
With this blog specifically, I have seen one particular pattern play out here that I want to address/direct in the first series of blogs here.
Many of the blogs I've written here were within the awareness of others reading them. As I write even now, it's like I am addressing someone... the reader reading my words. I have this awareness of someone reading this, and having a point of "who" is reading this, what type of person they are, what they believe, how they perceive the world, and thus how they will perceive me.
What I want is to make this blog so totally, absolutely FOR me. Writing for me, expressing for me, being here for me to support myself and to expand myself within who I am and to create a reality for myself that is best for all.
And so to start, I am not going to share this blog around as I normally would. Specifically within the Desteni community - for so long my process and my writings and my self have been "for" external points... to get something, to create something, to clear something...
I simply want to be here to encourage and empower myself to become the best version of myself, especially now, with all the experience, knowledge, and information I've gained, and living in real time with myself. I want to see who I am for real, what I am actually made of, and the highest potential I can create for myself.
I thought at one point already that I "made it," yet I realize now that was only the beginning.
There is so much more. There is never an end, in fact, to the expansion available, and I am here to make the most of this Life I am/have.
So here I am, writing again, initiating the process for myself to become even more self-reflective, even more self-aware, even more empowered, self-loving and absolutely free in clear of all shame/guilt/regret and any other expressions that are limited versions of myself.
I am HERE for ME as All as ONE as Equal.
Let's go.
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