Kristina's Journey to Life

 Yesterday's blog was quite cool and in general, the process of redefining the word STAR to make it a livable expression has been such a fun process to open up and find myself within. There's definitely a push to get real with me in terms of coming to terms with the potential I see in myself and how playing small really doesn't serve anyone.  When I started my process with the Desteni message and tools, I was a meek, shy, insecure, and seemingly insignificant being from my perspective. I was a whisp of a being. I had no standing within myself, no confidence, no direction, no sense of any kind of self-authority. I was lesser than everything, weak, defective and could not recognize myself as worthy of Life.  And this process allowed me to gift myself with such transformation and blossoming. My life has been blessed by this process and I am grateful to be here walking it still.  I do still experience doubt and fear but I've walked through enough of my mind and establish...

I'm continuing here from the point opened up in a previous post in relation to resistances: The problem was that although we might see what is best for ourselves; to do certain things that would support us in our life or process or in our day to day living, where we could apply specific things that support us to actually develop as effective, caring and functional human beings in this world that are not driven by self interest but act within principles that are best for all and that is to start with self - so even though we see there are certain things we can do to support ourselves in our process of stopping the mind , transforming ourselves, perfecting ourselves to be the most effective being we can be that is living within/as the utmost potential - there are still moments where despite seeing this - we still give in to resistances . And it may not even be because we have defined something has hard or difficult or challenging, but mainly because we give into ideas about ours...

This morning (Sunday, August 11th, 2013) I had a chat with a Destonian living on the Desteni farm. Our conversation was coming to an end and she shared news with me I thought I would never hear. "Bernard has passed away... his heart stopped." That moment of timelessness carried on forever, as if I was stuck in that moment, anticipating a reaction that would never come. I couldn't believe it... it's couldn't be possible. What words could I possibly express with this expressionless experience I had? I had to go to work. I thanked her for chatting with me and continued on getting myself ready to leave for work. What else could I do? I am still here and my responsibilities remain. As I was gathering my things to leave my house... slowly but surely... the reality as the realization set it... Bernard was gone. I stopped and I cried. I let myself sob like a baby as I realized a Living Example unlike anything else in this world has left. This Man - t...