Kristina's Journey to Life

So it's been awhile since I've been consistent within blogging. There are many reasons for this lack or absence of blogs, some have been practical, though most are not. Most reasons are due to ego . Either judging what I write, fear of others judging what I write, excuses of nothing to write about, resistance to writing as putting in the effort, not wanting to share myself... the list can go on. I was at one point within this process consistent with my blogging - I would just write, every night at the end of the day, whatever points came up that I could see I could 'deal with' with self-reflection and self-forgiveness. And I enjoyed it - it supported in stability, letting go of judgement, letting go of fear of what others think, developing self expression within writing... it was a valuable practice that I just let go of. So I'm here to pick it back up. It's always here, it always comes up within me. Time to take it off the back shelf, and bring it back int...

Here we go - writing myself out because even after a couple weeks of writing blogs every day - I am still having thoughts of resistances coming up. Especially here within my personal blog. Everyday I have thoughts of like dreading having to come and write here - and even thoughts of how I have trapped myself, lol. Because I made this commitment to myself to write a blog everyday for at least 21 days, and everyday when I am faced with this point - I resist it, and then think, fuck I have trapped myself because I have to do this - I know there is no valid excuse. When in reality - it's not trapping myself - it's facing myself and holding myself ACCOUNTABLE. Holding myself accountable for the things I say and taking responsibility for what I accept and allow. As I DO NOT accept and allow myself to validate ANY reason/excuse/justification to fall at my walking this writing process - so when they come up... well I should say, I have been accepting and allowing myself to entertain ...