Kristina's Journey to Life

This blog is continuing specifically from yesterdays blog , where I started the self forgiveness process in relation to the physical dimensions identified within a memory I started walking through lots of blogs ago - the original in the series you can see here . Adrenaline/shaking in my physical after running away from her - in seeing what I had just done, a lot of energy as the fear rushed through my body for actually doing something I thought I could never do - that I 'faced' her in that moment I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate energy within my body through the acceptance and allowance of myself within this moment of facing Cristina as 'dumping her' - through fearing of having to actually face her, for having to actually face the decision I was making and within the starting point from which I was moving as self interest - and so within this I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the physical experience...

I am almost to the half way mark of the 21-Day journey I have been pushing myself to walk. If you would like to see the process from the beginning - you can check out the starting point  here . So the last 48 hours were rough for me in terms of really coming face to face with myself; my mind. What I was seeing were addictive habits that I 'thought' I had put in check, but see that they are still there when certain events/situations take place, like an instant activation and I am running on automatic. So after the last 2 days which felt like an eternity of both bliss and shit - bliss being I followed the thoughts in my head that took me into a feeling of such niceness (or so I THOUGHT) and the shit being while in this addiction, standing in the background screaming to myself, "NO - stop this, Stop this!" But it was like I couldn't until I couldn't take it anymore. And a had to let it ALL go and bring myself back HERE. "Back to life, back to reality...