254: Self-Created Anger
Tonight at work I saw myself become angry - which I have not seen in awhile. There was like this rage that wanted to come out and the trigger were the words of a co-worker. The specifics of what he was saying triggered a reaction within me that I see I have been participating in the last few days or weeks even - where I have been feeling unworthy and not good enough in certain moments and instead of directing myself out of this point, I have been looking outside of myself to find this point that says "You are worthy and good enough". Perhaps I was not looking for these specific words, I was looking for an indicator that implied this, something I could use to interpret for myself that "this means I'm good enough and worthy." Well, where I have been looking for it - it does not exist. Obviously - it cannot exist outside of me and the fact that I am thinking and believing that I will find it outside of myself is a key indicator of why I allowed myself to be...