Kristina's Journey to Life

So cunning the mind can be as the influence over us in how we experience ourselves and how we trust it’s pictures to be showing us reality when in actual reality all we are within is an experience that makes us feel good and that we will hold onto as long as we can without realizing it’s the illusion. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to automatically go into hope at the words of another implying a change within my reality as what I define to be ‘positive’ in relation to how it serves my self interest and self definition and so when another speaks words of implying a change within my reality that I define to be positive – go into hope as the imagination plays out within my mind of what it will be like and how it will go and how I will feel – of course always within a ‘happy light’ as the mind does not take into consideration actual reality and what it will actually take as physical actions to produce an outcome that one could be satisfied with but instead s...

Yesterday I was supported to see this point within myself that has always been here, yet never seen very clearly. And that is the point - seeing clearly, and within that trusting myself to stand as that what I see - and even more within that, to stand self directive in what I see.  What I have a tendency of doing is not trust myself, trusting another more than me and then asking permission if what I see/say/do is "ok". Within this, submitting myself to another, separating myself and actually limiting myself in saying "I cannot see this for myself, I do not trust myself enough, I am not good enough to see this, to direct this, to make a decision... will you do this for me?" And so within this, not pushing myself to stand up within myself, expecting others to do this for me. Which is actually manipulative as I am then accepting this within myself and changing myself in ways that another will feel they 'should' do this for me. Fortunately I have those ...

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou I'm here to suggest that Maya Angelou is mistaken... as there is no consideration of self and responsibility. To say that 'someone made me feel this way' is saying, 'it's their fault that I experience myself the way that I do'. Its like taking things personally - and that is always ego. And ego is evil as it exist in self interest and that self is 'never wrong'. Or that we have no control on how others 'make' us feel. I know this is crap because to say that someone 'makes' you feel a certain way just expose our nature of being slaves. Slaves to each other, to our emotions and feelings - slaves to our thoughts and judgments and blame. We are slaves in not taking self responsibility for what Exists within OURSELVES - because we accept we have no control. There is not direction of ourse...