Kristina's Journey to Life

Time to redefine the word SPECIAL.  It's come up in a few blogs previously walking the Star Process and I see there is still some emotional points within me in relation to that word so I'd like to look deeper to see what's here.  I am giving myself permission to break from structure and go with the flow of how to ground/redefine this word.  So special... this word is LOADED for me.  I feel as if the word special didn't play a big role in my life until I started my Desteni Process some 15 years ago. The word, when I would hear or read it, was like a strike against me and I felt like I would coward and hide from it in Fear because I desired to be special. Or I thought of myself to be special and then in process I defined that as "bad" so it was something I was ashamed of about myself, that I used to want to be or felt I was special.  When I was younger and growing up - it was like I did feel special, but also more like an outcast/outsider. It felt like something...

Earlier Today: Today I am on the Dr. Oz show and since I’ve been home from the taping – as the date approaches closer and closer I was having resistance and fear of it. The resistance was not wanting to see myself – fear of presenting myself in a way that I did not specifically want – being a part of this discussion that has so many missing elements. While I was at the studio, in my dressing room, I was handed a ‘script’ from which to see how my segment would go. It was about two questions taken from a 30 min interview I had on the phone with the producer a few days before. So I knew what questions were going to be asked. I looked it over – there were words written in place as my response, but I was told I did not have to follow the words exactly – it was what I wanted to say/share and so it was more for the doc, as to have an idea of what to expect from my response. I looked it over, but did not really give myself the time to consider what would be best for me to say – I did n...