Kristina's Journey to Life

Okay - so an interesting point here that's emerged and connects to the last few posts. My previous post was in relation to this ' acting out ' I see I was and have been accepting and allowing, specifically here in relation to my parents. Now the reason this is interesting is because what I see I was reacting to within myself and then projecting onto them, this anger and frustration, was specifically in relation to the previous points I had been walking in terms of defining security as something outside of myself - specifically my 'looks' and also within relationship . The ' looks ' point is what I was going into as defining myself according to my looks, becoming dissatisfied, or should I say, reacting negatively to 'how I looked' and within this, becoming frustrated, angry, annoyed and lashing out on my parents. Partly because I see there exists still blame within me towards them for conditioning me to care so much about how I look. I realize this...

Continuing here from the previous post, Day 306: Removing the Illusion of the Beauty System : When and as I see myself looking for a 'look' of me in terms of my face, hair or clothes to find a sense of security - I stop and I breathe - I bring myself out of the illusion of value in how I look and instead bring me back within the real value as self as the physical within/as breathing. I see/realize/understand that I have for too long defined myself according to how I look and in this, completely separated myself from who I really am and what life is actually about and what is in fact HERE, as this physical reality, as what Matters and in doing so - gave up the ability to develop me as a being that is of self love, self appreciation, self worth and self value as self security and so I commit myself to stop giving away the value I have as a being into/as an image of me as a presentation that does not stand within the context of what is real and what truly matters in our worl...

Okay - so what I'm going to do here is apply the self forgiveness on the points mentioned in the previous blog - wherein I placed my sense of security and safety within the image of myself and from there will move into the points of security and safety I've expected to find in relationships. Enjoy the journey. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wear make up from the starting point of insecurity I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my sense of security in/as the look of myself - such as the make up I wear or how I do my hair or the clothes that I have I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word security through defining it in outside/external points such as what my face looks like or what my hair looks like or the style of clothes that I wear I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to believe I will find security in how I look - trying to have a look tha...