Kristina's Journey to Life

Another dimension to the topic of 'what do you live for/what gets you out of bed'. I wrote a blog about this a bit ago - specifically looking at time as a reason for waking up. Here I'd like to share another motivation that gets me out of bed, and this particular point is most obvious on the two days of the month when I get paid. I am quite eager to wake up on those mornings when the money has been deposited into my account. And that motivation comes from being able to 'move the money' - where I actually enjoy putting the money in the accounts needed to pay the bills... working with the monthly budget - what needs to be paid and how much I have and calculating different costs and how much needs to go here and there... and I just really enjoy that. I always said if there was a job that was just moving money around taking care of the costs of things, I'd want it! The reason though I want to bring this up here, on my last day of this 30-day journey of self...

Yesterday while I just got out of the shower and was getting ready for work. My mom ran in to use the bathroom. I am busy brushing my teeth and about to ask her a question when she says, ‘god you smell so gross. It smells like an old man in here – it’s so disgusting, it’s because you don’t use anything’ I reacted to this by turning around and walking away and saying, ‘shut up, don’t talk to me’. I was about to go up to my room – but realized I was still brushing my teeth so when into the kitchen to use the sink. I was reacted heavily to this – and within myself I was saying, “how dare she. I don’t use any products because I use to place so much value on them – and now I am showing myself that I can live without them’ I went into anger and blame ‘for she’s the one that values the beauty system including products used to change the way that we smell into “acceptable” ways. She attempted to apologize – but I didn’t want to hear it. I was so angry at her for being a bitch. That’s w...