Kristina's Journey to Life

I'm continuing here from the point opened up in a previous post in relation to resistances: The problem was that although we might see what is best for ourselves; to do certain things that would support us in our life or process or in our day to day living, where we could apply specific things that support us to actually develop as effective, caring and functional human beings in this world that are not driven by self interest but act within principles that are best for all and that is to start with self - so even though we see there are certain things we can do to support ourselves in our process of stopping the mind , transforming ourselves, perfecting ourselves to be the most effective being we can be that is living within/as the utmost potential - there are still moments where despite seeing this - we still give in to resistances . And it may not even be because we have defined something has hard or difficult or challenging, but mainly because we give into ideas about ours...

Today I saw resistance towards studying. Because I have had this resistance experience towards studying before, today there was some stuff 'piled up' to get done and in that, more resistance as in thinking "this is too much now". This is just the consequence of what one allow when things get put off 'for later' in accepting and allowing resistance in the first place. So prevention was possible and obviously the best cure. This is also a point I have been facing/working with - yet without an effective solution I am walking that I am satisfied with. Yet - still working with it and so tonight's blog - in relation to the resistance towards studying and the ways in which I 'walk around it', justifying me putting it off. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a resistance to studying through and as defining school work as difficult or challenging or me as not being 'good enough' or 'good at it' and to wi...

In the beginning of my process, as I would lay myself down for the night, I would always lay there, breathing, and apply self forgiveness. either on points I saw throughout my day or just thoughts that would arise in the moment. The experience within this was very cool. I have not done this since then, which has been almost 3 years. I created a resistance towards it where I have now accepted the 'feeling' of it as being 'unnatural'. What I realize within this is that I am allow feelings to direct me, and me not directing myself - which is absolutely what self forgiveness is. Taking direction within self to become self responsible in self honesty to see who self is and to take that self directive principle/will to no longer accept that which is clearly seen as not best for all/self. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a resistance to applying self forgiveness out loud before I got to sleep I forgive myself that I have accepted and a...