Kristina's Journey to Life

 

Three nights ago I decided to stop, in one moment, an addiction I had been long giving my power and authority to. The dependency I had created to this addiction as something outside and separate from me here was quite extensive from the perspective that I actually FEARED no longer having this point of addiction - and I feared stopping it and the process I had to walk to actually stop it. This fear was the justification I gave myself to not even try - to ignore the addiction I was allowing. I basically suppressed my responsibility and who I was within my addiction as the consequences it created as me within my habit of it. So I stopped this and the self forgiveness I applied for the fears I was allowing grounded me and solidified my decision to stop this addiction. It has been three days since this moment/decision, like I said, and I have been walking since this moment with this anticipation and awe within myself of, "wow - am I really doing this? I can't believe I am doing t...

Where do I start? I suppose my whole life was leading to this point - where I face myself and this world in it's totality. I mean it's inevitable for us all to face the truth of ourselves - as we cannot continue on the path we are currently on - there has to be a change - whether we like it or not. Because in the End - Life is calling each one to wake up to the realization that we are here - we are responsible and we are the only ones to change ourselves/this world. No one can save us - no one can change us - we have to move ourselves and decide for ourselves what life is - who we are in relation to life and how life will be lived. As we can see currently - this thing we call life - is only self destruction. And so - we have to stop and re consider the path we are walking - and dare to do something that has never been done in all of the time humans have walked on this earth.... See each other and ourselves Equal. Live Equality and Oneness and stop waiting for an imaginary being...