Kristina's Journey to Life

Today I listened to part 1 of a 6-part series about "inner strength" from Eqafe. I could absolutely relate to the recording as how I have in MANY moments throughout my life denied, lied, and suppressed how I actually experienced/felt in a moment just to "save face" as showing a presence of strength... because I have come to define my emotional experiences /reactions as a weakness. Presently I see this mostly with my partner, where there will be a subtle reaction/conflict between us and as per usual, we will ask each other about it, and if my partner asks me if I reacted, I will say no as to appear stable. And this really bothers me because I know first hand how important it is to have a partner willing to be self-honest as a point of cross-referencing for you what you are seeing/looking at/experiencing yourself and if they deny in a moment what they are really experience, it can fuck with your ability to be able to see... So he will see a reaction within me,...

Here a point I faced as reacting and judging myself for 'acting out' the personality suits of the Mind I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for the reactions and internal movements that exist within me as my mind and how I act them out and only once I have allowed myself to express myself as my mind , where I am not directive principle, but simply allow whatever to come up and out to do so – then react for ‘having a mind’ and all these various characters and personalities I go into and essentially 'act' out I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for having a mind and internal mind movement as reactions and characters and personalities I present to others and then project this onto others thinking and believing ‘they’ are the ones judging me or fearing they are judging me instead of realizing that I have been judging myself and suppressing who I am as my mind to not have to take an activ...