Kristina's Journey to Life

A point I see within me recently is this point of self definition. How I define myself according to my physical body - it's shape, size and structure. No - not the practical, physical, functionality of it - the things that matter - but more the 'look' of it. While I have been busy 'perfecting' my body as an image I present to others, I have began to question myself - what the hell am I doing. While I spend so much time 'developing' my body to be in accordance with the look I desire - the shape that I have accepted and defined as 'attractive' and 'beautiful' - I have failed to give any attention or focus onto the being that actually matters - the who I am within every single moment of every single breath I breathe . Is there integrity in such a being that values more the 'look' of the body rather than the physical support of it. I mean who I am within my desire to perfect my body - what are the reasons I am doing this? Wher...

Writing: A couple weeks ago I was at work. I was talking with a co-worker about ‘the system’. I don’t recall the specifics about what he was saying or what I was saying – I only recall my experience in relation to offering a solution. In general we were talking about how the System – the economic System – is basically a brutal system that does not consider what is best for all. It was messed up and rough to exist in such a system. There was a sense of ‘this is how it is – oh well’ within it – and I saw myself want to offer a solution – such as an Equal money System. I imagined myself saying, “That is Why I stand for an Equal Money System – as it takes on the core point of why this world is the way it is” – but I didn’t. I resisted. I went into fear – or, I allowed fear to exist within and as me – and so I stayed silent. I immediately went into regret – as I saw that this was an opportunity to offer a solution to another that they might not have considered themselves. That perh...

Day 21 - and as I say, "It's my day 21 - I can't believe I made it" - just goes to show how much I never really trusted myself or pushed myself to do what I say I will do - or believe in myself enough to know I can - I am able - and I can will myself. The Mind - as it exists - only judges. Observes and places it's opinion. Always has a 'back chat' - I thought or idea or picture or association for anything and all things within it's Reality. As I saw myself today, in constant judgment of myself and others. I breathe yes, to stop myself, yet, why are they even here? Why have I created this of myself? Because I have believed this voice in my head to be real - to be who I am - then am I not responsible for what those thoughts are specifically - what they consist of and how they are directed. This is Standing Equal and One as the Mind. Taking Responsibility for what exists within me - because here is where Self takes back the Power to actually change Se...