Kristina's Journey to Life

  May 6, 2020 A point here of nearing my bedtime but having so much I still want to do. I then react to myself not getting to everything but refuse to consider staying up later to get to all the things due to a fear of being tired in the morning. Where's the directive principle, am I right? I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated and anxious when I do not get to “all the things” I wanted to do as an expectation I put onto myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a failure if I do not get to “all the things” I wanted to do instead of considering the practical reality of what I am able to do rather then what I want to do I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the time it takes something to do as a point of blaming it for taking “too much time” and keeping me from doing the other things I want to do I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame oth...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to suppress the points coming up within me through NOT writing them out or applying self forgiveness for them I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define looking at and addressing the points coming up within as the nature of thoughts, back chats, emotions and feelings as 'too much' and within this resist supporting myself within them as facing them instead of suppressing them - which would be to either write them out/self forgive them or just ignore them, pretend they are not here, push them down down deep and go alone with my day in doing something else I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as 'overwhelmed' within all the points coming up within myself as my mind - where I have basically removed my suppressor pacifier and now all the shit I have been hiding from and ignoring is coming to the surface and within this want to resist and sup...

Who here as heard the phrase, "Everything happens for a reason!"?? I know I have - and I have been the one preaching it. You didn't get the job... "everything happens for a reason" You're boyfriend left you... "everything happens for a reason" You couldn't buy that home... "everything happens for a reason" There are countless ways we have expressed this saying, "everything happens for a reason" From what I can see - in most cases it is used as a way to make people feel better about themselves - to not be hard on themselves - to not feel like they are 'left out of this cruel world' Behind it we can see it plays a part in keeping up in acceptance of a 'greater plan'. That no matter what happens in our lives - it was 'planned' to be and there is a reason it was. My boyfriend left me for my best friend... 'everything happens for a reason' The baby was born still born... 'everythi...