Kristina's Journey to Life

Last night, my partner and I pulled a card from our Osho Tarot deck to open up some points - one for him, one for me, and one for our agreement.  The card I pulled was exactly what I needed to see and brought to clarity many points that have been coming up and swirling around within me.  The card was Postponement and along with the image it helped me to see how I have been waiting and postponing and holding onto something that no longer exists... holding onto a potential from the past that I have in fact moved on from and instead of fully embracing what I've really seen, realized and understood for myself, I have been doubting, 2nd guessing, and needing permission to step into fully.  What I've realized is I am more than able and ready to step fully into myself as who I am HERE - what I see, what I realize, what I KNOW and to embrace and embody the ME that has come this far and walked very specific points and is ready, willing, and able to actualize what I've always known...

When things didn't turn out as how I planned and expected, I discovered I do not actually live the statement "going with the flow"... instead, I got angry and resentful and looked to blame others for life not playing out how I intended! I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger in moments when my time is not playing out as I had intended it, to be exactly opposite of how I intended it, and to within this, look at who I can blame for things not going how I wanted it to I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry as feeling life was against me and things were not going how I wanted it to, and to within this, feel as if no one was helping me out or 'making it easier on me' I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want others to cater to my wants of how I want things to work out as how I have a plan in my mind, and when it doesn't go as how I envisioned it, become enraged an...