Kristina's Journey to Life

  January 25, 2021 After my last blog, a day of going into the extreme opposite of what I thought I was doing wrong (I was eating too much sugar so I cut out all sugar/carbs) and discussing my experience with my partner and a friend I realized it doesn't serve me to go into the opposite extreme either. The reality is my diet is overall balanced but there are a few minor adjustments I could make to ensure I am not overindulging in things that are not necessarily on a daily, weekly, or even monthly basis.  So - did I react to my gestational diabetes test results? Yes! Did it show me aspects of myself I was being dishonest about? Yes! Am I a horrible mom and have already fucked up my child? Of course not.  It was a hard experience - well I was being hard on myself. I felt like quite a failure, I felt ashamed and embarrassed. But in reality - I made some mistakes, I can forgive myself for it, take responsibility for it, and LEARN from what has been done. I don't need to punis...

One point I am seeing within myself at work is a point of self-dis-empowerment. There are 3 computer/work stations where I work, and while I was in training, I was told a certain station had less traffic then the others, and one had the most traffic. I’ve noticed now, since being out of training, and on my own, my first choice of work stations is the one that apparently has the less traffic. Initially I considered this was a point of getting comfortable still with the job position, and as I was still learning the job and getting amalgamated, I was wanting to be there with the less guest traffic, as being less pressure essentially. Though today I saw it more in relation to two specific points: self-interest and a limitation I am accepting and allowing.  A self interest point because another worker also prefers that station, the one with the apparent less traffic. Though it’s due to a physical comfort point, where the computer screen is higher for her and so less pressure...