Kristina's Journey to Life

April 22, 2020 After 10 years I am still practicing perfecting this flow and consistency with blogging, to fulfill this commitment of the 7 years journey to life. We have a long way to go and I’m still here. I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to create consistency in my flow as my sharing as my blogging as my expressing I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drop the ball on blogging where I let time go by where I am not directing myself to share me as my blogs I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I made a commitment to walk this 7-year journey to life – to write a blog for 7 years and that this point is still here I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize just because I drop something or stop something for a moment I was directing doesn’t mean I can’t pick it back up and the only reason I don’t is excuses I give myself to excuse me from fulfilling the commitme...

This is again in relation to the new work environment and relationships I have been recently writing about. I noticed particularly strong reactions towards one specific co-worker in the new environment, and after a few days of this strong reaction/ experience in relation to them, I started to see 'them' as having something wrong with them... like something 'wasn't right' about them; they couldn't be trusted. It was like I saw them as a problem and who they are as a problem like they were shady in a way and thus THAT'S WHY I experienced myself so conflicted in relation to them. So they essentially acted as a trigger, which conjured up all these reactions, judgments, self-doubts, worries up within me, and yet I saw them as causing it. Not at all stopping, slowing down, and realizing IT'S WITHIN ME. And so I made it personal... personalizing the trigger as something more than simply my mirror - me seeing directly into me, and so having nothing, in fa...

One of the points I decided to take more seriously, and to start working with more directly, is who I am within dreams. I don't often have vivid dreams, but when I do, they are very much revealing parts and natures of myself I have for long suppressed. In the past year I've had re-occurring dreams in relation to family members, where I have this absolute rage I exert out unto them. To me this indicate massive suppression of reactions I've accumulated throughout my life time towards my family, and they are very much a part of me, and influencing me, even though I don't see the extent to the reactions on a conscious level. They are here - as revealed in my dreams. Another example most recently was a dream I had in relation to my weight. I have for the past year and a half been facing my relationship with my physical body, and my weight. And while I often first go to my diet and physical activity as points to change, I realize it's deeper than that in terms of ...