Kristina's Journey to Life

Here a point where I sometimes find myself annoyed or impatient in moments of communicating with others - not wanting to hear what they are speaking about, feeling like they are wasting my time - especially if I think what they are saying "doesn't matter" or is irrelevant to what we are actually trying to do... I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give up my time for others I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give others a moment of my time in really hearing them out and being present with them instead of waiting for them to stop speaking so I can move on with what I was doing I forgive myself that I have  not accepted and allowed myself to be interested in others' words and expressions instead of learning to stop and investigate what matters in matters I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to write most people off as selfish and not worth my time as thinking and believing 'they...

My partner and I have been creating a habit of working together with Living Words. We created a word web at the beginning of our agreement/relationship as the words we wanted to live and express in the agreement/relationship. So the word Agreement is in the center of our web and from there all the various words and expression we want to be a part of our relationship branch from it. Every few days, or weeks, or months we pick a word from the web - usual just at random, one of us running our finger across the page of words until the other one says stop and wherever that finger lands is our word to work with. We discuss the word as what initially comes up within us in relation to the word - how we see it, how we define it, how we relate to it... then we walk with the word for a few days in ourselves and our day to day living. We then come back together after those few days to discuss our findings, specifying within that how we see we are able to make the word Livable in a Practical W...

Continuing from yesterday's blog ... the point of creating inconsistent blogging through inconsistent self-support, and the following is forgiving that relationship . I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide from myself when I go through more emotional, tough points in my life I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define tough within a negative energy charge and so when I define something as tough - I resist it, and give in immediately as not being able to put in the good fight for myself to stand and remain stable, and direct myself through that tough point I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear exposing difficult points I face within my day to day living with others, as not wanting others to see me as weak I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe I should not share the struggles I walk through in my day to day living I forgive myself that I have accepted a...

A few weeks back I started watching a new comedy series. It was a refreshing find, and I very much enjoyed the actors, and the comedy. One thing though that I noticed within me watching this series, reminded me of another experience to a previous series I watched a few years back. The story goes, there is a girl and a guy, and they for awhile were just friends/co-workers. You can see the chemistry, and the subtle hints of attraction between the characters, and immediately your hooked - you want to see these two characters get together . This is the story line of the newest series I've been watching, and come to think of it - it's the same exact story line of the previous series I watched wherein the same experience within me came up. Fascinating! So as the story goes (talking about the newest comedy at the moment), the two finally come together! It's magic, and bliss, and everything you wanted it to be. The chemistry sparks, and it's entertaining to watch the t...

Have you ever had that experience where you KNOW what another person is thinking, or feeling , or experiencing? And from this KNOWING, you direct yourself in a certain way? Or really, it's not even about you directing yourself, when one interprets how another is experiencing themselves, one then is influenced by this interpretation. Which really is just an assumption . Let me explain a bit better. Recently I've noticed this point within me of where I will assume to know what another it thinking and feeling and experiencing. And what is most interesting about this assumption/interpretation is that it is always in relation to Me. Where I think I know how one is experiencing themselves in relation to me, and from this, will be influenced by this idea or interpretation of what I think I know they are experiencing in relation to me. Sounds kind of like a mess, doesn't it? Well it is. What I was supported to see today was that when I interpret what another person is ...

I am currently busy walking the EQAFE Atlantean Series "Giving Up" . I highly recommend this series, as well as any series on Eqafe, but specifically the Atlantean's as they present a step-by-step guide on 'how to' understand and correct specific emotions/feelings we face throughout our lives. So the first interview was insightful and supportive for me, because although I was able to identify the 'giving up' thoughts that were coming up in relation to a specific point I am facing in my life - what I was able to see more clearly through listening to the interview was the trigger of this giving up play out within my mind which came from an initial reaction to a point in my life that was negative in nature, and from there I activated this 'giving up' construct within/as me. It was quite a heavy experience this past week as this specific energy/emotion was coming up as wanting to give up. That is why I am so grateful for the Atlantean series, as ...

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to want to be agreeable with others  as to not to create conflict or resistance / reactions within them in fear of what might happen I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a submissive role in going with the flow in my interaction with others where I see one ‘as the boss’ and whatever they says goes and do not care to stand as my own authority in fear of how they will react or within believing that this is what I must do – agree and not cause conflict I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play the part of the good person where I simply support and agree and make sure not to cause any conflict or reactions within another by simply being who I think they want me to be yet it’s within how I believe I should be in order to create an outcome that I want where they see me a certain way where there is no conflict and I can keep that which I have and that which I still fea...

Here the self corrective statements and commitment in relation to my previous blog post: When and as I see myself reacting toward another's words, expression or behavior in relation to feeling unworthy or not good enough, I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back to myself here, back to my body, back to where real worth exists as who I am as the physical, as life and so I breathe within seeing/realizing/understanding that the reaction is in separating myself from the relationship with me - the relationship I have within my own self worth and indicate I am not yet giving/living self worth as who I am here and so I commit myself to stop looking for worth outside of myself here, outside of the very breath I breathe and commit to realizing that real worth as who I am is defined and determined in every moment of breath, every thought, word, deed and as who I am in this life, how I live, what principles I stand by - those are the real determining factors of self worth and thus I com...

Yesterday’s blog was my ranting and raving on this point I've participated in throughout my life within relationships . They were the main players in my search to fill my self worth. Obviously indicating I was not seeing, accepting, living or embracing worth within myself in any way and actually believed that another could give this or offer this to me. I've known for some time now that is absolutely not true and the only way to know real worth is to live it as myself as who I am, how I live, the principles I live by and to no longer accepting and allowing the abuse of myself and others that is created within seeking self worth in separation of myself. So self forgiveness … I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe self worth can be and will be found in a relationship with another I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that there is no way one can find SELF worth in another as the words indicate – SEL...

Continuing here from the self worth points I have been walking. I started with this acceptance within myself where I stated “I am not good enough, not worthy” and saw how easily it is for anyone to come to such a conclusion in a world where money is valued as what is worthy of/in life and the more you have, apparently the more you are – so I saw how in general, how this world is set up in terms of the economic system – the value system being out of whack as it is – produce such ideas within people. However, I also see my responsibility within this – in accepting this point within myself and thus the self forgiveness and self correction application that must be walked. Okay – so I will continue with the next point I placed for myself in that first blog of this series , where I said, “I accepted and allowed myself to define my self worth and being good enough outside and separate from me here - in a relationship with another” Alright – well this is a big point for me...