Kristina's Journey to Life

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to want to be agreeable with others  as to not to create conflict or resistance / reactions within them in fear of what might happen I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a submissive role in going with the flow in my interaction with others where I see one ‘as the boss’ and whatever they says goes and do not care to stand as my own authority in fear of how they will react or within believing that this is what I must do – agree and not cause conflict I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play the part of the good person where I simply support and agree and make sure not to cause any conflict or reactions within another by simply being who I think they want me to be yet it’s within how I believe I should be in order to create an outcome that I want where they see me a certain way where there is no conflict and I can keep that which I have and that which I still fea...

Here, self forgiveness in relation to the points I have been facing in the last few days and how I've come to see and realize it is an accumulation of a faulty starting point from which I made a decision of 'how to proceed' - where I moved myself into a position within self dishonesty. So this blog is in relation to the accumulated reactions I have experienced and in blogs to follow I will go back through the days in applying self forgiveness for the origin/starting point that created what I am now experience/facing. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a resistance to writing my JTL blog within/as a reaction of myself within the last week in relation to my blogs, and more specifically the points I have opened up in relation to ‘no napping’ as I have come to see/realize/understand the starting point from which I moved into that point and see it was within self interest, to prove something to myself and others and thus not within the principl...

I am well into Day 8 of stopping an addiction I once saw as so much greater than me. But man what a cool week I have walked, in stopping and standing up and seeing just how much of a distraction I was allowing within myself as my own addiction. So cool to stop and get back to reality and to the matters at hand. There is an experience in relation to this stopping the addiction that I want to address - it's like the 'urge' to go into my addiction has become quite less and less, where I experienced it initially as a physical urge, then I saw how it was a mental desire in the form of thoughts and back chats attempting to justify the decision to go back into the addiction. I did not FALL for it. So the decision still remain and I am still clear in what I must do/walk in order to get myself through this point of no longer being influenced by any point outside/ separate from me here through my own participation and creation. The experience I am seeing now within th...

What use is the knowledge of breathing if it is not utilized/lived/applied? I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the knowledge of breath as self support is useless without application I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to support myself with/as breathing I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself in not using breath to support myself and instead give into my addictive tendency as seeking energy within/as my mind I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to prevent consequences of how I experience myself in wanting to run away and sleep away my experience because I did not support myself with breathing and instead allowed myself to go within my mind, in using physical energy as substance for the purposes of self interest and within that experience myself as physically sick and weak as I see what I was accepting and allowing and did not stop myself I fo...

Observing my behavior and the patterns I live out day to day... I can see I’m still ashamed of myself and my mind. So – a point of separation – because within my fear of exposing myself to me as the mind, and so others as me as the mind – I am separating myself from it. Beliving I am superior to it and not realizing – IT IS ME. I realize it is not who I am really – yet it is how I have created myself as the decision of ’who I am’ through acceptance and allowance. That is the power I have as creator – I have created myself as something I am ashamed of. So – time to take responsibility for myself as creator/creation. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing myself as the mind as the thoughts and feelings and emotions and experiences I allow and accept within myself, through daily writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself as the mind through accepting and allowing re...