192: Suppressing Sadness
Continuing here in the series I have been walking, laying out myself in the memories I found that fueled this point of fear of being bullied - realizing that I was the bully I am now fearing. You can start from the beginning in the first blog here . So will continue applying the self forgiveness for the accepted and allowed self I was in this memory with the following points: *This is not in the memory/written out, but as I write here, I see there was sadness within me for what I had just done, that I could do that to another being, that I could do that to my friend, and ultimately I knew it was dishonest, but my fear of not being accepted and thus desiring to be accepted was stronger then my concern for her and so I suppressed the sadness I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within my own fear and desire and self interest to become more than what I accepted and defined myself as, as being inferior to two girls in my class, decide to take action against ...