Kristina's Journey to Life

Continuing here with the family points.. in my initial blog that I opened up in regards to who I am in relation to family, and how I've come to define the word family, I mentioned one of the first things I noticed come up within me in relation to 'family' is the word suppression . There is a partnership relationship within this word suppression and that is addiction . I have seen and experienced a lot of suppression within myself and my family and an equal amount of addiction. And what I've come to realize is that addictions stem from suppressions. When we do not deal with or address or acknowledge or change things we experience within ourselves and our life, we are suppressing them. And in that suppression, we create a need to cope or cover up, or hide from what we are suppressing. This is where addiction comes from - the need to feel something else, to focus on something else, to keep ourselves busy and distracted from the real things within ourselves needing ...

In this post, I take a look at the experience of blaming another as the reason to why I am the way that I am. Wherein I live behaviors that I realize are not best for me, but instead of directing and thus taking responsibility, go into blaming another for myself. Which is obviously insane. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame another for the reason and being of myself, my nature I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame what I have seen within/from another as the reason/cause/source origin of why I am they way that I am and why I am who I am I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within this blaming of another as the reason/cause/source/origin of why I am and how I am the way that I am, abdicate my self responsibility to myself – to my life, to what I accept and what I allow within myself and within my life, how I live I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within this abdication of...

Seeing a reaction of self judgments to/towards my body and within this exist within the starting point of "desire to be thin" as the decision to work out I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my physical body and it's shape/form I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within the starting point of self judgment projected onto my body, desire to 'work out'/exercise within the desire to make this feeling of 'being fat' go away, without considering the reasons for why I am in judgment of my body in the first place, and thus only accepting the self definition of being fat within then working out because of this as a way I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to work out within the desire to "look good" based on a picture/image within my mind that i have accepted as the definition of "looking good", not realizing it has been programmed into me through family, friends, me...