Kristina's Journey to Life

  I was looking at the word STABLE as a living word , how to express it, how to live it, how I've come to abdicate my ability to be/live the word stable, and some very cool points opened up and came through.  What I can see creates instability within/as me is when/as I accept and allow myself to exist within/as and participate within/as the Mind as reactions. When I have a thought of judgment or opinion about someone or something, or myself, or some circumstance within the polarity of what is "right" or what is "wrong" - that is when I accept and allow myself to live/be unstable.  I change - one moment I am one thing/expression and then, according to what someone says or does or how they behave or if something happens or doesn't happen, then I have a reaction - I have an idea or thought about it that is based on emotions that is based on a "right/wrong" perspective.  True stability as a living expression is the Physical. The Body. The Earth, the P...

Today while I was driving home from having breakfast with my dad - I was coming up to a left turn I had to make, with the turn light blinking yellow. I yielded and waited for the oncoming cars to pass so that it was clear for me to go. As I was in the intersection, the yellow flashing light turned solid and then turned red. Usually in such a moment, one would go ahead and make the turn, since I was already in the middle of the intersection. Yet for me - in this moment, I wanted to back up. I looked behind me and started to reverse. The notion of going ahead with the turn didn't even come into my awareness . Instead it was like I was in the way now of other cars and I had to move. While I was backing up, I realized I couldn't and didn't actually have the space, because someone was behind me. Then I looked to my left and saw a women who wanted to turn, but couldn't because I was in her way, motioning me to go ahead and make the turn. In this moment, I reacted and was li...

This blog is continuing specifically from yesterdays blog , where I started the self forgiveness process in relation to the physical dimensions identified within a memory I started walking through lots of blogs ago - the original in the series you can see here . Adrenaline/shaking in my physical after running away from her - in seeing what I had just done, a lot of energy as the fear rushed through my body for actually doing something I thought I could never do - that I 'faced' her in that moment I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate energy within my body through the acceptance and allowance of myself within this moment of facing Cristina as 'dumping her' - through fearing of having to actually face her, for having to actually face the decision I was making and within the starting point from which I was moving as self interest - and so within this I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the physical experience...

There is this saying I have heard my whole life. "Nobody is perfect" And this statement is usually spoken wherein someone makes a mistake. Or becomes emotional, or does something they regret or are reactive to/towards. It's like, shit, I fucked this up, but it's ok, nobody is perfect. It's this acceptance that, nope, we are not perfect. We are flawed. And we accept that of ourselves. We don't believe we can stop accepting such a self limitation. Because really, it is self defeat. It says, I am not perfect. I was made imperfect. Therefore I have this statement to blame or to 'give up' my self responsibility for my thoughts, words and deeds. Simply, because "Nobody is perfect" If no one is perfect, then I don't have to be perfect. I can exist like everyone else. I can accept imperfection within this World. The environment is being destroyed by humans for profit and power? Well, "Nobody is Perfect" The child got sold into ...