Showing posts from 2018

585: My Process with Responsibility

Responsibility is a word I've had a long relationship with. I remember being quite young and reading the Berenstain Bear books and responsibility was one of the words I came across, one of biggest words I had read at that stage, and when I read it on my first go... I was surprised and so proud of myself. The definition and understanding of that word were clear within me - I had no struggles to read that word. So I've always in a way held a special place for that word within me.

Give or take 20 years later and I came across it again in a living, applicable way. The very first point when watching my first few Desteni Production videos was the message of responsibility. I understood a responsibility that I had not only to myself but to those around me and life as a whole. I could see this world was a mess, and no one knew wtf was going on, and the solutions people were living with positive thinking and "making the most" of this life was not practical... it did not addr…

584: Partners with Principles

One point that has become present for me recently is this point of allowing others to walk their process (live their life) and that comes from me allowing myself to walk my own.

To get more specific here, I can see with my partner for instance there has been times where I become too concerned with what he's doing or how he's moving himself, and in times where I feel I must step in and say something like intervening, which isn't a problem per se, but the starting point was usually coming from within me my own points of frustration and irritation and want for him to change.

Though in this last year especially, what seems to be surfacing as much more relevant is this point of me becoming completely focused on myself in terms of what I'm doing, how I'm directing myself, what I am applying myself within each day... and in that reflection of who I am within it all, seeing the responsibility to myself of ensuring I am standing within a point of integrity, honesty, and tr…

583: When The Best Decision is the One you Refuse to Make

Recently my partner and I had to make a decision I was not at all thrilled about, and in fact, reacted quite extreme to when the suggestion was made.

We were in a situation where we had to re-consider some plans that were already in place, and while being in this situation, and looking at the upcoming plans we had in place, we considered it may not work out and we may have to cancel those plans and change direction entirely. And while within me, CLEARLY, I could see the practical reality situation, what would be best for ourselves, and so best for all as we would not be putting ourselves in a compromising situation... we were, in fact, deciding to act in a preventative way, I refused to accept it!! Initially.

When we started opening up the discussion about changing plans I basically threw a tantrum. I hated the idea. I hated the fact that that was the option presented to us. I hated that that was in fact what was best, and I made it a point within myself to resist, reject, and refuse…

582: Forgive to Understand to Heal to Change the World

Forgiveness is a word I am still working with - understanding my definition of it, how I've understood it, asking myself if I've lived it. It came up as a word to look closer at because I was reconnected to this realization that essentially what this world needs is forgiveness. It is the ultimate tool we have to utilize to let go of what's been done and to start anew. Which is what we require in this world. There is no doubt in that.

And so about a month ago I faced a moment where I had to pull forgiveness within and through me to change myself in a moment, and it was quite cool actually.

I was communicating with a family member and the words they were speaking, what they were saying I did not like. I absolutely hated actually. I became 'livid' - so angry, I was kind of taken aback by it. And in the moment of "hearing them" (we were texting) - I attempted 3 or 4 times to write out a response that I ended up deleting. And the reason I ended up deleting th…

581: Bombarded and Overwhelmed... A Meltdown is not the only Solution!

A month or so ago I was experiencing this point of being overwhelmed and like I was 'wanted' in so many directions... between getting a new puppy, how busy I was at work, continuing to maintain the house with the other cats and my partner, the daily responsibilities I have, I was feeling quite anxious and tense in seeing all the places "I was needed". And so I did some self-forgiveness to support myself in slowing down, stopping the energetic experience and to start seeing solutions. Enjoy!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel I cannot control myself when I am being pulled in so many directions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel as though I'm being bombarded from all angles in my environment and to exist within the thought, 'I can't take it'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as if I'm being pushed and pulled in all sorts of directions in my envir…

580: Miss-Takes and Learning Something New

The last couple years have been teaching me what it means to learn something new. The challenges I've faced, the fears I had about making a mistake, "what will others think if I make a mistake???", and getting to know the value in each lesson... it's been a journey I am most grateful for.
Who are you when it comes to learning something new? Fearful or Embracing?

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579: "Thanks for Sharing!"

I've seen this statement all over the internet - especially within the community in which I watch a lot of vlogs and read a lot of blogs. Often times someone replies only saying "Thanks for Sharing". And while it does seem like a simple statement - which I've had my judgments towards, as I 'thought' it was lacking any real feedback, I realized it is actually perfect.

When I read a blog from someone in the Desteni community, or watch one of their videos, my life is always enriched. I learn something from their sharing - something they faced and walked, something they realized, or even just their perspective on some topic... it adds value to my life as it contributes to my process, my understanding and my view of my own life.

So while sometimes in the past I've had reactions to this response, "thanks for sharing", I can see how specific it is because sharing is caring and I am thankful for those that share. When you share yourself within a point …

578: Have you had Enough? Ready to Snap?

Recently I've been experiencing this point within me of reaching a breaking point or reaching a boiling point, where 'shits about the hit the fan'. It's almost like I'm close to hitting a limit within myself, and I won't be able to 'take it anymore' and I'm going to snap!

So I had a moment today where the point came up again where I was becoming frustrated, and agitated and reactive basically - blame towards others in my environment, doubt that what I've been applying is even working, and feeling as though I'm about to give up because "fuck it - what's the point."

And in looking at this point, I realized it's from a process of accepting and allowing things to accumulate within me. I mean obviously that's what's going on - how can something 'hit a boiling point' or a 'breaking point' if it's not being added to, or have some sort of influence over it. 'Reaching the limit' and 'having e…

577: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa... Red Flag!

Lately, I've been practicing slowing myself down even more to a point where I am paying much more attention to who I am in a moment.

This is something I have been practicing for years, but more so recently again realizing I have in a way become more automated in that practice, where it's not something I think about much, or consider much as of late - like it kind of gets put to the side as you get busy with day to day responsibilities.

So I've re-directed myself back 'here', meaning - taking more moments throughout my day to check in with my breathing and to consider only focusing on myself, my body, my physical actions.

Now I've decided to do this because recently I could see, again, a separation between me in this practice, and in allowing that, I allow a lot more shit to go on inside my mind. And for me, one of the big points is how much I focus on others in my reality - what are they thinking, what are they experiencing, analyzing and interpreting their beh…

576: Procrastination and Creation

This day I had a point within me where I saw I had decided to do something, but I kept putting it off. I knew I would do it, but I kept waiting to direct myself. The hours of the day went on and on until it became clear I was wasting time.

In waiting until the last moments, I create unnecessary anxiety and tension within my physical body when I could simply have had the idea, and then physically moved myself to do it. - In that moment! To act on it. After all, it is our actions or lack thereof that create in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate on ideas I have as actions what would support me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider something I would like to do in a day but wait to the very last minute in the day to do it - existing within a resistance all day towards that idea instead of directing myself immediately in the moment as the consideration arise

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed m…