584: Partners with Principles
To get more specific here, I can see with my partner for instance there has been times where I become too concerned with what he's doing or how he's moving himself, and in times where I feel I must step in and say something like intervening, which isn't a problem per se, but the starting point was usually coming from within me my own points of frustration and irritation and want for him to change.
Though in this last year especially, what seems to be surfacing as much more relevant is this point of me becoming completely focused on myself in terms of what I'm doing, how I'm directing myself, what I am applying myself within each day... and in that reflection of who I am within it all, seeing the responsibility to myself of ensuring I am standing within a point of integrity, honesty, and trust within who I am, that I am actually the focus of change. In ensuring that I am not judging what I do, or where I slip up, or where I stumble, or where I succeed, and in that allowing of myself to embrace more of me, I can easily allow him to do what he needs to do for himself. And that also supports in me allowing him to make his mistakes, make his decisions, have his successes and my responsibility within it all is to be aware, and directive of Who I Am.
Our partnership is based on support - each individual striving to fulfill their own potential, but equally here to support the other. Using each other's strengths and weaknesses to support each other. We've learned how to make decisions together, how to take our time alone to make decisions, when to cross-reference with each other, all the while creating a baseline for who we are in engagements and interactions with each other, and I am truly grateful for our partnership.
But the most fundamental thing that is allowing me to be full of gratitude for our process together is based within my own decision to be grateful for my individual process. to acknowledge that I am doing my own thing that requires detail, specificity, solutions, and direction and when that is my main concern and focus, I have more space within myself to give to him or to share with him.
It's like you can't expect yourself to really be able to love someone, trust someone, count on someone, appreciate someone if you are not doing that for yourself - loving yourself, trusting yourself, counting on yourself, appreciating yourself. When you are doing that for yourself, the other no longer becomes a 'need' for you - because you are standing in your own self-love, trust and accountability, everything else becomes an extension of that self-starting point.
And so while we have not always been and are not perfect, I can see each of us perfecting ourselves, and pushing the potential of ourselves, and our life, and what we create and we have come a long way.
This is just a little shout out to my partner and our agreement and how grateful I am to be able to face myself in such an environment where each here to support, although each alone to process what we need without judgment and with understanding. That is the only way we can stay together... in each taking self-responsibility and removing expectations of another fulfilling a need for ourselves because we see we are capable to do that for ourselves. It reminds me of the saying "my cup runneth over" - where when I fill myself within self-love, self-trust, self-honesty, integrity, and self-responsibility... I can fill myself up to the brim and begin to have it run over into my interactions with others, into my life, into how I make decisions and how that influences everything I do and who I meet. And forgiveness did that. For-giving to myself the ability to love and honor myself and to strive for nothing but what's best for me/all... that is when you have nothing left but to give.
This is not to give the impression that our years together has been a cakewalk - quite the opposite actually. There were many years where there was uncertainty if we would make it. Though what was within and behind everything of our partnership was a principle that we both hold dear... to change ourselves. And that came through in not walking away when things got hard, not blaming the other for our own experiences, not placing expectations on the other to be someone who does things for us or gives us something we think we need. It has been the only point that stands when everything else of our partnership seems to have fallen into disarray. And the principle of communication. Our union is based on communication, and if we don't have that, we have nothing. So through the labor, and the sweat, and the tears, we have been able to reap the rewards of what we've sown... which is a relationship of openness, communication, trust, support, accountability, sharing in responsibilities and learning to walk, live, and work as equals.
None of this has been possible without each of us making the commitment to Ourselves for this Life to change who we've been into who we are as our utmost potential. If you want to know about more about our process together, and the principles we live by, leave a message below!
Thanks for reading.
Artwork By: Andrew Gable
The Journey to Lifers
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