Kristina's Journey to Life

Art By: Benjamin Garcia I had a moment where because of my actions, and my willingness to go for something, I received something in return. But upon receiving it, a moment of doubt and fear and rationalizing a self-belief that another person was more deserving than me directed me to give up what I was offered. And I immediately realized the self-compromising ways in which I've been living by this one simple moment... I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself in moments where I think and believe I am less deserving than another I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to second guess myself and to decide that I am not worth what I was offered based on my efforts and instead believe, by chance, someone else was I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, in a moment of receiving something, feel bad for another person and doubt my actions and to offer up what was offered to me I forgive myself that...

I'm continuing on - now considering why is my automatic response to dealing with others "I don't like" as to just ignore or avoid? Is there another response I could have? Check out the first recording in this series here . The  Journey to Lifers Take Responsibility for what is HERE in/as this world, within AND without: Desteni DIP Lite Course  (FREE) DIP Pro Eqafe  (Self-Perfecting interviews, books, music, etc) For your Info: Destonian Wiki Equal Life Foundation SOUL (School of Ultimate Living)

Ever have that experience of your skin crawling when around someone you just don't 'vibe' with? You can't stand to be near them... you avoid them whenever possible. You don't want anything to do with them! Me too... so I made a recording talking a bit about that experience, how I reflect on it, and how I can understand it better to where it becomes a constructive experience rather than one I dwell in. The  Journey to Lifers Take Responsibility for what is HERE in/as this world, within AND without: Desteni DIP Lite Course  (FREE) DIP Pro Eqafe  (Self-Perfecting interviews, books, music, etc) For your Info: Destonian Wiki Equal Life Foundation SOUL (School of Ultimate Living)

I am going to share a bit more here my relationship to my body, and more specifically, my stomach. When I was around 10 years old I stopped dancing, which I had been doing for 8 years already, and competitively for the last few of them. I remember being at home and thinking about how I 'must work out' now that I was stopping dance because, from my 10-year-old perspective, I was going to get fat. That's quite a consideration for a 10-year-old... thinking I must work out to 'keep my figure' and hopefully prevent myself from gaining weight. And my target area? My stomach. I then proceeded to put a towel down on the floor in my living room, wearing a short shirt and some shorts, and I began doing sit ups. I must have looked silly, as a friend of the family at the house snapped a picture of me doing this - which I'm sure is still around somewhere at my mother's place. So here I am at 10 years old, deciding that I would have to create my own work out reg...

I just listened to an Eqafe recording titled, "Forgiveness and Forgetting" . It explains the point of how just because you forgive something, doesn't mean it forever deletes it from you or your mind. There still exists a remembrance - a recalling of what has happened and who you were. I was reminded of a time in my life where I realized I required to forgive myself for something I had done. I was ashamed and felt guilty , and regretting how I made the decision to do what I did. And for weeks, the same experience was coming up, I kept going back to the moment where I made this decision, what came from my decision, how it changed my life, and I was gripped by this emotion of regret and sadness. And I realized with this continuing to come up I had to forgive myself, to allow myself to let go of what I was holding onto. I realized I couldn't change what was done - what I had done. It was done and that was that. There was no going back. But I still remained, and ...