Kristina's Journey to Life

April 23, 2021 -  Today I had a bit of the "baby blues" I guess you could call it. Since I had Phoenix almost 1 month ago I have experienced lows. I wouldn't go as far as to say it is postpartum depression but I definitely have had days where my experience is much lower/heavier than usual and pretty much anything can make me cry.  I haven't had a "low" day in almost a week so it's a little discouraging this experience is making an appearance. When I came out of my last low, I felt much brighter and lighter and more looking forward to my days, more optimistic about myself and my circumstance, and trusting that I would/could make this whole mom thing work. A lot of my lows have been in relation to the fact that I am unable to produce an adequate amount of breastmilk to sustain my son and we have to supplement the majority of his nourishment with donor breastmilk.  I am so grateful he is at least getting breastmilk but the fact that I am not able to breastf...

March 29, 2021 Last week at our 36-week midwife appointment our midwife suggested I try to collect colostrum for our little one for after he's born. Because I have been diagnosed with gestational diabetes there is a chance he could be born with low blood sugar (this may be because if he's been getting high blood sugars from me, his body could adapt to that amount so once he's born, it can drop as he's no longer getting that amount from me). And if he does have low blood sugar, he may be unable to breastfeed right away after birth and so to avoid giving him formula she suggested I stock up on a supply of colostrum now for him just in case.  And so she showed me how to hand express the colostrum. While at our appointment, the colostrum did not come out so she suggested when I got home that evening to take a hot shower and then try again. I did and still nothing. The next night I did it again and again, no colostrum came out, and instead, I just have sore and sensitive bre...