Kristina's Journey to Life

Art by: Andrew Gable Today while I was at work – alone on a Sunday due to the Covid19 “situation” as we are calling it – I kept having moments of fear and panic come up as I was ‘alone’ in this office. Despite it being early in the morning to the afternoon, I kept having this fear/image of someone being in the office that “didn’t belong” – that “wasn’t supposed to be there”. I feared someone would be lurking/waiting for me and “strike” when I least expected it. I also thought maybe a co-worker would come in and try to scare me. Every sound stood out and I froze, wondering, “is that a normal sound or is that a sound of something being wrong?” I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being alone in my office building in thinking and believing that someone would be there or “get in” that wasn’t supposed to be there and end up harming me I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being raped, attacked and murdered while being alone in my of...

This is a continuation of: Day 122 - Walking through a Moment of Irritation part 1 Day 123 - Memories Fueling Reactions part 2 Day 124 - Part 3: A Moment filled with Many Dimensions Day 125 - Part 4: Forgiving the Voices in my Head Day 126 - Part 5: Correcting the Voices in my Head Day 127 - Part 6: Forgiving and Correcting the Imagination Day 128 - Part 7: Forgiveness for being a Reactive Robot Day 129- Part 8: Correcting the Reactions So here I will continue onto the Physical Dimension of this moment wherein I reacted physically, changed my physical body, movement, experience all because of the movement that was happening within/as me as my mind. So this is a point revealing how we have enslaved our physical bodies/reality to our internal reality/the mind - wherein depending upon what is going on 'up there' in our heads, we will actually change ourselves to act accordingly - thus this begs the question: Who's in control? What are the forces forcing us to ...

This is a continuation of: Day 122 - Walking through a Moment of Irritation part 1 Day 123 - Memories Fueling Reactions part 2 Day 124 - Part 3: A Moment filled with Many Dimensions Day 125 - Part 4: Forgiving the Voices in my Head Day 126 - Part 5: Correcting the Voices in my Head Day 127 - Part 6: Forgiving and Correcting the Imagination So here I will continue the self forgiveness and self corrective statements for the dimension of reaction identified in this moment I have been busy walking through. Reactions Anger, annoyance, irritation, blame, judgment I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as an automatic reaction robot in a moment with A, wherein I reacted within and as anger to/towards her for her movements and words, realizing that it was all based on past experiences as memories with her and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the past experiences as memories be stored within me as my  mind an...