Kristina's Journey to Life

I had to use this title for the blog lol it was simply here.  Because in redefining and living the word STAR, what has opened up for me is this point of embracing more of the uniqueness that is me (that all are) and recognizing that I do have something of value to share - like a sun shining and giving to all, I too (like all do) have something I can give and realizing it's not about fitting in, being recognized, being special/more than others - it's about seeing, realizing, understanding and embodying the knowledge that life is truly remarkable and each point in/as/of existence as life and represents all of life that holds so much value and so to standing equal to that.  Taking the position as the role that I was meant to play which was to become the best version of myself, my utmost potential wherein I am not diming, hiding or denying who I really am which is all life as one.  Another dimension that I saw to the word STAR, from seeing the definition of the word, was this...

I had another moment this week where a co-worker corrected my work – again I wasn’t slowing down and ensuring my work was complete. I started to react but I could see where I created it – it wasn’t my co-worker trying to do anything, it was me missing the work. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when a co-worker corrected my work in front of my boss in fear my boss would be upset and think I’m not a good worker I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine a co-worker talking badly about me to others about the work that I do I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame a co-worker for doing something I imagined her doing, not something she actually did as far as I know I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to, in realizing the problem and the solution to me reacting to a co-worker, still not apply the correction/solution and instead continue to move too fast and not pay attention to...

Today I noticed some anxiety within me, and it was in relation to my permanent residency status in Canada. I've been waiting for a response for almost 8 months now, and while it could take up to two years, I did in a way expect to hear something by now. Though the anxiety I can see is not in relation to not hearing a response, but more on who I was when submitting the application, and actually practical in that it is showing me a point in which I was dishonest with myself, and the application when it was submitted. At the time I was filling it out, I was here on a year's holiday work visa. However by the time I sent the application in, my status had changed. I knew this part of my application should have been changed as well, yet I allowed laziness, and a hope to direct me to just send it anyway, and hope for the best. I can amend the residency application at any time, but for me the anxiety showed that it was something I was willy-nilly with... not absolutely accurate...