Kristina's Journey to Life

June 23rd, 2013 - Another night without power in the house Alone in the Dark I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to go home because there is no electricity and the darkness reminds me of loneliness I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being alone without electricity – because within this I feel alone, I feel lonely I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never realize the loneliness that exists within me and only now see it triggered through an outside/external force that reveals to me the loneliness I have within me – realizing that it’s not my environment that ‘causes’ the loneliness, but it is in fact existent within me I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a dependency on my routine, which is supported with electricity/power for when I come home – within this, defining the things that I do as a normal routine as my comfort and companion and to within th...

*This blog was actually written the night of the storms, Friday, June 21st. Let's be honest. Not only do I require to stop this fastness character at work because self honestly - that is not the only place this character exists. Obviously, I am this and it's not actually the environment - it is me. I have written a bit about this speedy being I have a tendency to go into, and what I now realize is that it's only something I am now becoming aware of. Meaning - I have always existed as this 'fastness character" but only now am I seeing the patterns and cycles of it and the points that trigger it's activation. My fastness comes from an extreme energetic high. When I perceive or react to something within my reality as something 'good' or 'positive' - or to be self honesty, the one thing I have always believed I wanted in life - then I am like on cloud nine, way ahead of myself, on top of the world and flying like superman at lightening speed...