Kristina's Journey to Life

May 18, 2020 You have to watch my vlog to have more context for the following self-forgiveness.  Essentially - who I am in my garden is who I am in myself and my own mind. There are lots of weeds that need to be removed - lots of destructive, judgments, spiteful thoughts that do not exist in what is best for all or in the best interest of me. Those must be removed and Forgiveness is the tool. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to dig deep to get the roots of the weeds I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to put in the work and labor to dig deep in pulling out roots of the weeds in my garden I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to get to the fastest desired result of no weeds in the garden by putting woodchips over them to suppress the weeds I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that suppressing is changing instead of realizing suppressing is on...

A point here of feeling quite disappointed from a play-out in my reality where the imagination and HOPE for it was completely different, and from that high expectation, the great fall into the negative... I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create disappointment, as a super low, within myself because of having expectations as a future projection of how things were going to play out and charge it with extra strength positive energy I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give so much time and energy as an investment into my imagination of something to come and when it was not at all what I imagined and fantasized within me myself, feel foolish and disappointed and literally feel like falling within myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get carried away within my imagination where I took an actual physical reality and imposed my own ideas and desires unto it that was not at all substantiated in reality bu...

Continuing with opening the word Success - how I've defined it and lived it throughout my life . I have a memory in my life, in my early twenties, where I become quite obsessed with the idea of making money. I was full of desire, and wanted an escape from my life, and I thought if I invested a lot of money in this specific course, I would be able to do just that. I spent one weekend at a seminar, and over $1000 on material, and a few weeks to follow of research for something that did not play out as I expected. The desire to succeed, which was really the desire for more money/financial freedom was the motivation, though I did not at that stage understand what it actually takes to create something – I simply just wanted results NOW. After not getting what I was expecting, thinking if I just threw enough money, and had certain material, things would just work out for me – though of course that is now how it works, and I simply gave up. The energy as the desire depleted and I...

Looking back throughout my Life - I saw this world wasn't 'right', meaning something was off. Why was there so much pain and suffering? Why was I asking 'who am I' and "what is my purpose" - why didn't Humans know who they are and where they are? And so, I was on a search my whole Life, always looking outside of myself to find the 'answer'. I 'thought' I found it through spirituality - believed we could change the experience of ourselves to be 'only good', meaning I just had to feel good and I would create good. I believed this to be true for the world as well, that the reason the world was so 'negative' was because we as humans were 'negative' and we just needed to tune into better feelings. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the world is negative because humans are negative I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe positivity is real and negativity is the illu...

"Be willing to dream, and imagine yourself becoming all that you wish to be. Keep in mind the basic axiom -- all that now exists was once imagined. It follows then that what you want to exist for you in the future must now be imagined." This very cool exposure of self interest that exists within Humanity currently expressed in the above statement was made by Dr. Wayne Dyer. I once followed his words - looking for guidance in my own life - busy with trying to find my bliss and how I could be more happy/content with who I am here. It made sense to me when participating in 'the secret' = where I believed I had access to exclusive knowledge and information that could transform me and my world into one that I could LOVE and enjoy. The Dr. made sense to me - as he gave me words that validated me own pursuit of happiness. Such as the one above. Now that I can see with real eyes - I would like to show you how I can see this statement when applied to this REAL World - t...