Kristina's Journey to Life

Continuing here in the series I have been walking, laying out myself in the memories I found that fueled this point of fear of being bullied - realizing that I was the bully I am now fearing. You can start from the beginning in the first blog here . So will continue applying the self forgiveness for the accepted and allowed self I was in this memory with the following points: *This is not in the memory/written out, but as I write here, I see there was sadness within me for what I had just done, that I could do that to another being, that I could do that to my friend, and ultimately I knew it was dishonest, but my fear of not being accepted and thus desiring to be accepted was stronger then my concern for her and so I suppressed the sadness I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within my own fear and desire and self interest to become more than what I accepted and defined myself as, as being inferior to two girls in my class, decide to take action against ...

I have a priority point to deal with. Which is – priority. How I prioritize my life, and it’s time to get self honest about it. What I see, within all the responsibilities that I have, that I tend to do those that ones that I define as “easy” – wherein they do not take up much time. Within this – I am able to get those things consistently done, daily – yet when I am without time at the end of the day, I find that those things or responsibilities that are definitely more of a priority than the others, are being ignored, and so there will be days where they do not get any of my attention or focus. So this is about prioritizing my life and the daily responsibilities that I have to ensure that I am being self honest about what requires attention and what maybe is not as important. As I see myself becoming more effective in not allowing myself to just be entertained throughout my day by doing nothing really, there is still this ‘rush rush rush’ experience of trying to get through everyt...