Kristina's Journey to Life

This is a continuation of a series I've been walking through writing, which you can see here: 271: Stuck in the Mind 272: Our Responsibility to become Self-Aware 273: Points of Anger, Impatience, Blame and Comparisons The next point that I can see within the initial writings is placed here: I then realized I missed the usual movement one would make in such a situation - when the yellow light turns red, and you are in the intersection - you make the turn. And then after realizing this, I wanted to cry. It was like an accumulation of an overall  experience  I've been having the last few days where it's like I feel like I am not stable and missing so many things and losing touch with my awareness. This moment triggered the reaction within me of feeling stupid and dumb and it was like how could I miss such a simple point. What I can see here is a moment of accumulation spill over into the emotion energy of self judgment and frustration. Basically I was co...

A point here is resistance for writing my blog tonight - specifically because I opened a new point in yesterday's blog in regards to communication in the work place and my participation and lack of awareness/responsibility for the words I have been speaking and the words I have not been speaking in terms of being directive and standing within the principles I see are best for all. So the resistance is in relation to seeing this 'new point' with 'many dimensions' and so then I project in my mind the imagination/play out that it will be a 'long process' and I 'don't know where to start' in terms of 'taking on' the points revealed in my writing. I see this resistance has been building over time in my writing process, where I have had these back chats of "this will take too long" or "I don't know where to start" and "there are too many points that I am not seeing" and "I might miss a point/something...

Here I am continuing from yesterday's blog where I opened up this point I see I am wanting to correct or adjust in my life. The point was balance and how throughout my life I have been very unbalanced, where I put all of myself into just one point in my life and do not pay much attention to anything else - and this is where I see my addictive personality come into play because it's like I consume myself within just one point and completely disregard what else is here, just as REALITY - like every thing that exists here within me and as me and around me - like my physical reality and all the things that allow one to live, practical reality points that require my direction and attention. Obviously it's different for some, whereas we will take on different points of responsibilities - yet I can see for myself where I have been walking quite a cool process with myself this last year in really zeroing in on 'how' I want to live, which is determined by ' who I am ...

I wasn't going to write tonight here... it was a thought that accumulated through experiences tonight. I came home and went to read a chat. Mid chat - I decided I wanted to make a vlog - as it's been a couple weeks, and wanted to face the point and address some stuff of spirituality. While I was making the vlog - I was having, or I have been having a lot of reactions/back chats come up recently in relation to it. Like, "I am not clear - I don't have all the points - I don't speak clear enough - it wont make sense, I can do a better vlog later with more preparation" And it's fascinating because my previous experience with vlogging was like, cool, here we go, no preparation - just speak and breathe and be here, and I was usually satisfied within the point. Well. getting self honest, it was usually me re watching the video to make sure it was acceptable to me. that I looked ok, I sounded ok, like I knew what i was talking about - that it made sense, and u...