Kristina's Journey to Life

  Oooooh, I'm excited about this blog.  The title came up first, earlier in the day, as I was looking at continuing with the redefinition process of the living word Special.  In the previous blog, I looked at how I lived the word previously/how it has been defined within myself and my life. It was quite revealing as I realized there was this awareness within/as me all of my life that knew who I really was, deep within, locked away, but there... always 'there' almost like in waiting. (The key now is to bring it HERE). So I really enjoyed that last blog and am eager to keep this ball rolling.  Looking today at the definition/etymology/root of the word.  One definition that jumped out at me as the root word for special (looking at the Oxford Online English Dictionary) was having to do with "specific" - "having a close or exclusive connection with a specified person, thing, or set; own; particular; individual. This jumped out at me because of the word "speci...

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to want to be agreeable with others  as to not to create conflict or resistance / reactions within them in fear of what might happen I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a submissive role in going with the flow in my interaction with others where I see one ‘as the boss’ and whatever they says goes and do not care to stand as my own authority in fear of how they will react or within believing that this is what I must do – agree and not cause conflict I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play the part of the good person where I simply support and agree and make sure not to cause any conflict or reactions within another by simply being who I think they want me to be yet it’s within how I believe I should be in order to create an outcome that I want where they see me a certain way where there is no conflict and I can keep that which I have and that which I still fea...

Yesterday’s blog was my ranting and raving on this point I've participated in throughout my life within relationships . They were the main players in my search to fill my self worth. Obviously indicating I was not seeing, accepting, living or embracing worth within myself in any way and actually believed that another could give this or offer this to me. I've known for some time now that is absolutely not true and the only way to know real worth is to live it as myself as who I am, how I live, the principles I live by and to no longer accepting and allowing the abuse of myself and others that is created within seeking self worth in separation of myself. So self forgiveness … I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe self worth can be and will be found in a relationship with another I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that there is no way one can find SELF worth in another as the words indicate – SEL...