Kristina's Journey to Life

Day 17 The Challenge - Facing Self  and taking Responsibility for what you see. THis seeing is given by you or another. Yet the truth is before you. Accepting what you see as the truth of Yourself- this is the most difficult. Yet to take the response ability - is setting yourself free. It is taken the power. But wow - is it hard. What I have to face about myself = the truth of myself - I don't know how to communicate. I only know how to defend myself. My point - in fear of being 'wrong'. As a way to protect myself. My wall built high. It's not 'him' or 'they' or 'her'. IT'S ME. The agreement I am walking - is thus far the most challenging experience. Because it forces me to See myself for Real - as what I allow to exist within myself - who I am in my interactions with him - the games I play, the manipulations I maneuver - sounds like maneur - it's the shit I accept. A load a crap I carry - all to not face myself, as what ...

Day 14 Thinking is separation - separation from what is Here as the phsycial Reality -where we are in fact and that which matters. As I was washing a french press that I have at my mom's place - it reminded me of when I was on the Desteni Farm - where I first used a french press. I was in my mind within this memory, the different experiences I had with the french press and how I broke at least 1, very possible 2 of them while I was there. And while I was thinking about this - within the Reality that is Here - that Reality I was separating myself from being within the memory, existing only for me, I broke the french press I was washing. Interesting - because as I was separating from the Physical Reality, existing in the Imaginary Reality - I ended up breaking/ruining what it is I was actually participating with. Just a small example and reminder for me of what it means to be within and As the Mind - it completely disregards what is Real - what is actually Here - and a...