133 - Humbled in Seeing and Shamed by my Blame - Bringing the Fear Back to Myself part 2
Ok - so continuing on from yesterdays blog , I shared an experience I had as a reaction of fear. While was 'in fear' of posting the blog, I contacted a fellow destonian for a cross-reference. To my gratitude but not at all surprise, I was unconditionally supported to see within this experience/point that which I was not willing to see myself. Maybe it's because I was in it/as it - this character I went into as a victim of "him". While I was in my fear, and holding onto my fear, and fighting against my fear, I was not realizing the self interest the fear actually was. Within this fear, I was the victim, "he" was the abuser that called me a name and I was innocent in my participation, and only had the fear of him to take responsibility for. It was like I was feeling sorry for myself for experiencing fear, and it was "his fault" that I experienced it, and it was enslaving, so yes, that's all I am responsible for, just my fear. Yet - bring...