534: Rock Bottom
I've had a few moments in my life wherein I would say I was at rock bottom. While I never created severe consequence externally, within myself I could see clearly I was out of control, and it was only a matter of time before my life would follow suit. First was when I was 17 - I had pretty much dropped out of high school, I was spending all my time with only two people, and we basically spent that time smoking weed, and getting drunk. There was one moment in the car, after a night of our usual behavior, where the alcohol and weed got to me, and I was laying in the back seat, spinning. In that moment I saw how out of control I was - meaning... I was not the one making the decisions in my life, I was following impulses, and addiction, and desire... which led me to being sick in the back of a car, contemplating my life and what I was busy creating. I was not satisfied.. I was tired of it. I was the lowest I had ever felt in my short life. So in that moment, I saw the potential rou