Kristina's Journey to Life

Continuing with the waiting point… I often see myself telling myself, ‘I’ll do it later.’ Or “tomorrow is the day’. Within that, a positive feeling of accomplishment, because in the ‘I'll do it tomorrow/later’ and thus ‘waiting’, there is the belief that you will actually do it – that you are committed to doing it. Though – if that were actually the case, why not do it today? I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put off things for tomorrow or later instead of doing it today I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, through putting things off till later or till tomorrow, trigger a positive feeling experience within me as the belief that I will actually do it, and that I will actually get it done, when in reality I see, realize, and understand that while I think the positive feeling is a sense of self-pride for committing to doing something ‘later’ – it is actually due to me fulfilling the desire to give into waiting – through acceptin...

Continuing from the previous blog, "Day 325: What Are my Reasons for Wanting Change?" When and as I see myself 'hyping' myself up with positive energy /feelings in relation to implementing changes within myself and my day to day living, I stop and I breathe and bring myself back to the realization that change is not and should not be about making myself 'feel good' as the reward of positive energy and instead be a decision based in self honesty and self responsibility to who I am and thus how I participate within this world and so I commit myself to stop myself when I see I am going into a positive energy reaction in relation to making/implementing changes in my day and instead I commit myself to walk the physical day to day, moment to moment process that ensures my consistency and stability within the actual point of real change so that it becomes a change that stands the test of time and not just a fad or hype I participate in for a moment to give my...

Written Tuesday, November 19th, 2013 Tomorrow I am going to NY to be interviewed on a talk show. Lol - that is not something someone might write everyday. I was invited to be on the Dr. Oz show to discuss my past experience of having an addiction to weed. Yes - I was addicted to weed and don't believe the myth that you can't get addicted to weed. Absolutely you can, because it's not actually the weed you are addicted to - it's the feeling and experience you create when 'being high' and so whether it's smoking weed or shopping or eating or drinking alcohol - there is a specific experience one generate in the action that we become addicted to. The 'feel good' energy, the 'letting loose' feeling, the 'relaxing' sensation or the 'I have no worries' belief. When in reality, we are not willing to face ourselves in how we actually experience ourselves, day in and day out, moment to moment, so we use a substance or a specific ...